What We Could Have Been (EN version)

Chapter 5

We're quickly interrupted by the guide who asks us to go for the pitures We go on the red carpet and take a few pictures I focus on what I'm doing , at least I try I can feel Nathan's eyes on me I wonder what he's thinking. For a second I almost look at him, but I decide to not. My pride wins on my curiosity and I ignore him. I pretend like I don't know him. That's ironic because he's probably the person who knows me the best, knew me, cause this took and end when we broke up. 

When we're finally inside, I breath again, even though Sarbina and I are quickly separated. She makes sure I'm ok before going to our table, while I go backstage. There's a little stage at the front in the room. That's where I'm supposed to give my speech. Quickly, a team arrives to touch up my makeup and my hair before walking on the stage. 1apparently, I have to look perfect. They're touching up my lips when my accompanist arrives. They told me before that I wouldn't be alone on the stage and it made me feel better. It was reassuring to know I wouldn't be alone to be honest. They're kind of yelling at him because he's late, but he doesn't seem to care. He doesn't say a words for a moment. Suddendly he daubs something about interviews on the red carpet. Something in his voice sounds familiar. My stomach is tied.

"Hello" he says touching my shoulder.

A feeling of warmth spread in my shoulder. I turn around, a smile on my face to greet him. But my smile fade away when I see the person in front of me. We look at each other for a second. He seems as surprised as I am. We don't even have the time to do anything that we're going on stage. He offers me his arm. Even though I don't wanna grab it, I do. I'm doing this for the gala, because it's work. They always do that on tv. I let go of his arm as soon as I can.

Within a second, I'm looking for Sabrina. I find her easily. Maybe it's because she's the only one who looks shocked. Her eyes goes from Nathan to me, then from me to Nathan. Her jaw drops, she's that in shock. If only she knew how I feel right now. I grimace and raise my shoulders. She close her eyes for a second. When she opens them again, I know what she's thinking. Mostly because I wonder what the universe is doing too. How many chances were they for me to meet him here ? And then having to do speeches together ? I don't know what the universe is playing, but I don't really appreciate it. 

I didn't even noticed Nathan was talking all that time. I don't look at him, I simply look in front of me. I only look at him when he tells everyon that nothing's impossible when you have a dream , when you work hard, and when you have someone who believes in you. I wish I could ignore him, but I just can't. I look at him, annoyed. I can't attribuate myself his success, but hearing him say that is hard for me. Back in the days when we were together, at that time I was the one telling him nothing was impossible. It was also me who believed in him. At that time he said I was too optimistic and positive. But here we are today, him on the national basketball team, even though he stopped basketball before we broke up. Basically proving him nothing was impossible. I feel like he noticed I was annoyed in just one look. I almost believe he was blushing for a second but I'm surely wrong. He goes back to his speech before presenting me. He takes a step back and I get closer to the mic. I take a deep breath before starting to talk. I try to remember what I wrote as much as I could, but surprisingly, the inpiration came easier than I believed. Almost during my whole speech Nathan was looking at me. He didn't took his eyes off of me once, I could feel his eyes. It was so awkward it almost distracted me. Why was he looking like that ? Am I making no sens ? Do I have something on my face ? I take a deep breath et focus again. In reality, he probably was in shock, just like me. He for sure didn't expected to see me here, after all, it's HIS world here. 

Once my speech is done, we wish everyone a good night before leaving. Again, I grab his arms, but this time, I let go way before I should have. He notices it, everyone noticed. Backstage, I'm really happy I find my guide, waiting for me. I don't waste a second to follow him, escorting me to our table. I'm happy to find Sabrina here, she looks at me, worried and pissed. She gets up and hugs me. It's an unexpected hug, but it was all I needed. 

I sit next to her and discover the people at our table. I'm talking to a young girl when I finally relax. Of course, that's the moment Nathan choosed to arrive. Of course his table is the one in front of us. He meets the brunette from earlier, she kiss him. He smiles before looking at Sabrina and I like he just saw a ghost or something. After all, that's probably how he feels. He must feel like seeing deamons from his past. I laugh at that though. 

Lunch is served. The young people at our table are talking about pretty much everything and anything. I'm specially touched by a young girl called Katie. She told us how she's been taken away from her parents because they couldn't take care of her. I secretly promise myslef I'll find a way to help her. We talk all along during diner. They tell us about their hobbies, and what they love the most. A waiter comes to take our plates. I help help her and she smiles. I feel his eyes on me. I look at him but he's already looking, he's not even hiding it, even if his girlfriend's next to him. I ignore it again, but a few seconds later, I feel his eyes on me again. This time, he's with a teenage girl talking. I wanna disappear when I see what she's holding. He looks at me, confused. The young girl walks in my way. Crap. She arrives in front of me, shy.

"Hello" she says while her cheeks turns red.

"Hi" I answer smiling.

She doesn't say anything for a second.

"What's your name ? " I ask.

"Nathalie, but everyone calls me Natty" she says. 

"Natty, that's beautiful" I answer.

She's turning the book in her hands. I can  feel her stress. I think about saying something to calm her, but she talks before I do. 

"I already finished your book" she says.

"Really ?" I ask. 

"Yeah I realy loved the story between Nick and Jane."

She paused. She seems like she's wondergin about something. It seems to bother her for a second, before talking again.

"I have that friend, she's in a toxic relationship" she starts. "She love this boy, but he's an idiot. He loves her but he acts like a dumbass. And he drinks. I'll tell her to read the book" she says

I pretend like I don't know that friend is actually her. I can't help it but looking at Nathan while she's saying this. He smiles to a child, but his smiles fades away when he catches me looking. The usual anger comes back tuking his face. Idiot. At least something good came out of this relationship, I guess. 

"Well tell you friend to be careful and to protect her heart. And she should talk about it to her best friend! It's important not to be alone."

She nods et looks at the book.

"Can I ?" I ask poinging at the book.

"Sure" she says.

I open it. I look for a pen in my bag. I always have a pen and a notebook everywhere I go. Even at a gala apparently. I write her a little note in hope it'll help her if she ever needs it. Sabrina then suggest to take a picture, which makes Natty really happy. She talks still shy for a few seconds before someone arrives to take her back to her table for dessert. I tell her she can come talk to me as much as she wants after. She smile before waving goodbye. The rest of the diner is alright. Dessert is quiet good. After they take us our plates back Sabrina leans toward me.

"He didn't stopped looking at us" she starts. "If he doesn't stop I'm gonna have to punch him" she says before laughing.

"Ignore him"

"How are you so calm ?" She asks concerned.

"I 'm not, believe me, but I don't want him to know that so I focus on anything else than him"

"Ooooh you're right" she says.

She's about to say something else, but someone appears on stage. We shut up and both look at the person who's on stage.