Just Give Me A Reason

Chapter 23: Green as Ever

   a/n: I had another chapter written but it was way too crazy,  like Yuri broke mitch's arm and such...so I didn't like it no matter how many times I reread it and edited it. So I trashed it.

  "Since when are Yuri and Sayori friends?" Natsuki asked me as we sat together at lunchtime.  I frowned following her gaze to see the giddy girl  sitting with the calm shy tall girl, happily eating their lunch.  
   "I dunno,  I guess they could ask us the same question though." I reasoned and Natsuki nodded begrudgingly.

   "Hey Sayori,  sup Yuri!" This time both Natsuki and I growled at the sight of that boy with the black hair and golden eyes, as he approached a now blushing Sayori and Yuri.
   "Damn MC. " Natsuki grumbled and I looked quizzically at her.
   "His name's MC?" I ask curiously and Natsuki grunts bitterly.

   "Yeah his real name is Marvin Chandlerson, but I like to call him mac and cheese or  affectionately dick-brain." She whispered and I laughed loudly.
   "That's great! How did you...why do you call him that?" I asked between giggles. She smirked standing from her seat.

  "Watch this." She ordered and I watched her walk over to Yuri and Sayori's table. "Hello ladies, and MC did you get a haircut?" She questioned and he grinned stupidly. 
    "No, but you're like so pretty today Natsuki,   did you like do something extra special?" He asked dreamily and I watched Yuri and Sayori's expressions soured considerably. But now I understood where she got the nickname dick-brain from.

   But was Yuri jealous of MC or Natsuki that was the real question? Time to find out. I stood from my seat and jogged over.  I refused to be friendly with MC,  but I could be nice to Natsuki. 

   "Nat, you wanna head to the library, you can show me some manga?" I asked and Natsuki stood instantly.
   "Um yes! See ya later mac and cheese!" She winked and MC pouted as Natsuki nudged me. "Lead the way princess Monika!" She taunted and I glanced back.

   Oh yeah Yuri was definitely jealous of MC and now me.  Especially by the look on her face. I decided to throw her a bone.
   "Yuri why don't you come with us, Natsuki can show you those horror manga she told you about. " I suggest and Natsuki gives me a 'are you kidding me Monika' look and I shrug.

  "Please Monika like Yuri would even-" she started when the scrapping of Yuri's chair caused us both to look over at her.
   "I'll s-see y-you later Sayori,  um and MC..." she whispered before she slung her satchel on her shoulder and sided up next to Natsuki.  Did, did Yuri lick her lips?

   "Right let's go then, Bye Sayori!" I called ignoring MC's presence.  Yuri placed her hand on Natsuki's shoulder.
   "So Natsuki would you,  um... tell me  about these mangas?" Yuri questioned and I watched Natsuki's brain short circuit. I stifled at laugh behind my hand.

   "Bye Monika. " Sayori mumbled softly and I glanced at Natsuki and Yuri.  They were laughing, laughing together.  I glanced at Sayori who looked all sad. Yuri and Natsuki still needed to make up so...maybe I should leave them alone.

   "Actually Natsuki I'm gonna stay with Sayori, I'll see you guys at club later." I call and Natsuki waves and her and Yuri disappeared out the main cafeteria doors.

   I slowly took the seat next to Sayori,  unfortunately that meant I had to constantly look at MC,  but I most certainly did not want to sit next to him, even if that meant I'd get to look at Sayori.

   "Where's your lunch Monika?" Sayori demanded and I startled slightly, before I looked her way.

  "Just finished it. " I grin and she narrows her eyes.
   "Natsuki was eating, but you weren't." She whispered bitterly and I looked away from her feeling guilty for lying to her. "I'm going to get you something from the line okay?" She insists and I nod, wanting to make her happy.
   "Just no meat okay?" I mumble and she smiles slightly she brushes her fingers down the length of my arm.
   
    "I remember. " she promises before she stands and leaves me alone with MC.

    "So Monika,  what have you been up to since you like became a deadbeat and quit everything?" MC questioned and I bit my lip hard.
   "I run the literature club. " I tell him through gritted teeth.
   "And like what the heck is that? What good will it do you?" He demands

  "We write and read so it improves our literature skills and makes us more social and comfortable with talking in front of others." I defend my club,  Sayori and my club.

  "Please, don't flatter yourself. You're doing nothing important. I know what you really are ... you're a loser, a worthless nobody. " he whispers sickeningly calm and I see flashes of my mom's face.

   "You don't have a choice Monika,  either you become a useful asset to your father and I or you become nothing, and then you're worthless to us!"

I wordlessly stand,  my knees are shaking. I turn starting away from the table.
   "Wait Monika, what's the matter?!" Sayori questioned coming back with a salad.
   "Let her go Sayori she just got a dose of reality." He chuckled.

   His words sunk deep within me and I left school, my mind was spiraling out of control and I drove home clutching the steering wheel until my knuckles were white. I stumbled out of my car and into my house. But would it be my house for much longer? If my parents found out I was bi, or that I'd quit everything... how fat I was?! I'd be homeless in the snap of their fingers.

  Since I'd become friends with Natsuki I'd been eating more, that was a mistake. This whole thing was a mistake. What had I been thinking? I stumbled upstairs, shoved open the bathroom door and fell to my knees in front of the porcelain bowl. Then I stuck my fingers down my throat.

   I just kept throwing up until I was simply dry heaving and it hurt to breathe. I then curled into a ball next to the toilet and fell asleep, sobbing until nothing left came out.

  I woke up around midnight to thirteen missed texts from Sayori and my other club members.  I threw my phone in the bathroom drawer with the hairbrushes and fumbled to my bed,  smelling like vomit and feeling like hell.

   I pulled my fuzzy blankets around me and curled into a ball clutching my stomach. I skipped school on Thursday and Friday and stayed up in my room all weekend. I didn't eat, just slept restlessly.

   I was clammy and shaky by the time Monday rolled around.  The only reason I stumbled to school at all was because if I missed too many days they'd call my parents. That was the last thing I needed.

To Be Continued...

Yeah so MC's not very nice in this book...though he's more passive aggressive than the other MCs  🤣👌