Keep it Classy

Chapter 15

* Chapter 15: Happiness is a Warm Gun *

"What?" He asked befuddled

"I don't want you to leave." I repeated, James sighed in what I assumed relief. He slowly took my hands into his. "Elizabeth, my Elizabeth, you are my everything. My sun and moon, my wind and sky. And as shitty as that sounds it's true. I couldn't imagine someone like you walking into my life, and now that I've seen what it could be like, I can't imagine a life without you. I only want you to forgive me. I just want you to be back in my arms, and to love me again, even though I have no right to ask for your love anymore. I just need you Elizabeth." He pleaded softly.

I didn't want to give in so easily. I wasn't one to be easy. "I'll think about it," I spoke solemnly and stood up. "I'm going to clean up and I'll let you know my answer when I'm ready." I looked down and he nodded. I didn't wait for his reply, instead I walked back to the door and opened it for him. Paul took the hint and got out.

I didn't care how this house looked at the moment, I just needed to clean myself. I reeked of alcohol and I couldn't stand the odor.

My instincts told me to check if he left and apologize for the mess I made, but I didn't. Instead, I went to my bathroom, undressed, and showered.

Logically, after going through so much pain, you'd expect me to have a warm bath, to relax myself. No. Instead, I took a cold shower, so cold that it was practically ice cold. I wanted to feel as much pain as I could. I wanted to be as numb as I could. I didn't want any of this and yet I still got it.

I guess I was strong enough to bear this.

But honestly, I don't think I could ever be this strong.