All Too Well

♚ Chapter Twenty ♚

Since Black hasn't told me to help with Mey-Rin, Finny or Baldory with their tasks, I took the time to clean my pistol. I took it apart, holding the dirty parts on my lap as I polished each individual part of it with a handkerchief. For some inexplicable reason, Smile decided to sit across from me, staring at me wih such ferocity like never before while having an uncomfortable look on his face. I felt extremely uneasy but didn't show it, as I tried to remain focused at the task at hand.

I heard Smile's breathing quicken, but I didn't pay any attention to that. Suddenly, he screamed and balled his short, blue-black hair into his hand. I gave him an annoyed look but continued to ignore him, continuing to clean my pistol. "I can't take it anymore!" He yelled, getting up abruptly from the couch and jumping over to where I was. Smile knocked the pistol pieces from my lap onto the ground and pinned me down onto the couch. I felt scared but did my best to look like nothing was wrong. "Stop it now!" He shouted. "I order you to!"

I began to take in the situation. Snake was out with Finny tending the garden, and Freckles was probably with Mey-Rin. If I screamed from where I was, I might be able to catch the attention of whoever was nearby. But Smile, anticipating the move, covered my mouth with his hands. "Hear me out! Please!" He pleaded.

I blinked for a few seconds before letting out a sigh of defeat and annoyance. I guess I'll hear Smile out. I really don't care what he says to me at this point. I nodded, a silent gesture that told Smile that I was listening, "Violet, please, I love you!" He bluntly stated. My uncovered eye widened  from the statement. He loved me? Like I'll believe that this time. "I've fallen in love with you, for real this time!" He confessed. "For some reason, even after I told you our plan, I still  didn't get over you. I kept on wishing that you would come back one day and we'd be together again as friends, even though I killed your family!"

I remained silent, staring back at Smile, still taking in the news. So I was right with one of my suspicions that he was eyeing me because he was in love with me. "This damn tension between Sebastian and I and your circus friends has absolutely driven me to wits ends!" He cried. He grabbed my shoulders and shook me. "Please, Violet! End it!" Smile pleaded. "I'm begging  for forgiveness! I am truest, terribly sorry for what I have done! I regret it with every fiber of my being, even though it was for the  Queen!"

It was pathetic seeing Smile get down on his knees and beg like a hungry dog for forgiveness. In fact, the last time he did this was back at the circus, once again. And like last time, I wasn't going to believe and forgive him that easily. A part of me wanted petty and tell him to bug off and scream for help, but another piece of me wanted to believe his words. Like I was a mother trying to decide if her lying child was telling the truth this time. I finally decided to speak with him, the first time in doing so ever since I was employed here.

"Trust cannot be given  freely, Smile," I said.

Smile nearly gasped, hearing me speak directly to him ever since I got here. "I learned that, thanks  to you, Smile," I explained, pushing him off of me. We sat together on the couch, his soft, pale hands in my rough, calloused ones from  years of training and performances in the circus. I saw myself as a mother lecturing her child the concept of trust. "When I first met you, I grew close to you and  fell in love. You asked for information on Father and I gave it to you.  As a result, you killed my family and broke my heart," I continued, closing my eyes and remembering my dear circus family.  "Freckles and I have grown cold because of it. Snake is the same, even though he wasn't from Father's Workhouse. He thinks that we all were his family. When you killed our family, you killed his also."

I took a deep breath and sighed. Smile was right about one thing, though. I was beginning to grow quite tired at this avoiding conversation at all costs thing. If I was being petty at him, then I am a hypocrite. "This silent treatment is honestly becoming quite a nuisance and petty," I stated. "I think it's time for all of us to turn over a new leaf. Prove to Freckles, Snake, and I that we can trust you again. That you are sorry for breaking us. That you really love me for who I am, not for the information I hold."

"How long will that be?" Smile asked.

"Time will only tell," I replied, getting up. "We are more cautious this time with our trust. It will take a lot of effort for you to regain our trust. Then, we can  truly become friends and lovers."

I picked up the pieces  of my pistol and shoved them in her pockets of my skirt and walked out the living room, my messily, cropped, black hair  bouncing with my every step. As I reached the exit to the living  room, Black opened the door. I curtsied to him and exited the  room.

As soon as I closed the door, Freckles and Snake approached me and pulled me away quickly, away from the prying ears of the other servants. "Violet, what was all that shouting about?" Freckles asked me.

"Smile claims that he loves me-for real this time," I replied.

"No bloody way!" Freckles' eye widened. "You rejected him, right?"

"Not quite..." I looked away.

"Violet, what exactly did you say to him?" Freckles demanded.

"All I did was give him a chance to prove himself and then I would reply to him," I said. "And I told him that you two were also going to give him another chance as well."

"Bloody--!" Freckles started before slapping a hand over her face. Even Snake was shaking his head with disbelief. "This is what Smile's lookin' for! A opportunity to take advantage of you and then break your heart once more! I wonder what he wants this time."

"Don't worry," I placed a comforting hand on both of their shoulders. "I also told him that we'll be playin' hard to get."