Theatre Is A Lie ~ Joshua Burrage

Chapter 27

(This can be possibly triggering for some people. Read with caution, please)

Josh didn't answer her question that night. He stayed silent which worried Ami because she knew last time he didn't answer her it didn't work out too well. She didn't want to pry but was genuinely curious. She decided to give him his space though a pit continuously grew in her stomach. Eventually, one night while they were watching TV, he spoke up, "Why have you been so distant then?" She looked up at him, "Distant?" He stared straight ahead at the TV, "You just... seem to space out a lot. It worries me." They sat in silence for a moment before Ami sighed. She readjusted so she was partially facing Josh, "I'm sorry. I wasn't completely honest with you but um... I have had experience with some of that. Ha, it's stupid." Josh shook his head, "No no no, it's not stupid. I know you've experienced a lot in your life—" Ami shrugged, "I didn't grow up in the best neighbourhood" "—But that doesn't mean that they're all stupid." She nodded, staring at his shirt for a moment, contemplating what she was going to say next. She didn't know how to put it into words entirely but wanted to be honest with the boy.

"I was manipulated by a girl... into "dating" her. I'm not even into girls like that but... she constantly acted helpless to get me to pity her... and that's how it ended up happening. She would constantly force me to do things I didn't want to do and if I didn't do so then she threatened to harm herself and claim it was my fault. She would force me to FaceTime with her while I showered and made sure that she could see my body. She'd Male me uncomfortable in my own skin, telling me to diet and all those types of things to the point I was anorexic. She would constantly do things like force me to kiss her and I was very uncomfortable. After a while I wanted it to stop. I wanted her to stop hurting herself and to stop making me uncomfortable so I cut all of the nonsense off and tried to stop talking to her. I did it over text because I knew she probably would harm me if I had done it in person. She proceeded to verbally assault me and made it all feel like my fault. Unfortunately for me she still had classes with me so she would stalk me and never leave me alone. PE? She'd stalk me. Math class? She'd stalk me. She was everywhere. It got so bad I'd cut myself and even tried to jump out my window at one point. I was like that for 2 whole years until I joined Clementine Youth Theatre. Ever since then though I've had severe anxiety and depression issues. They died down after I started theatre but every so often I feel like she's about to jump out from behind a corner and I can still hear her voice ridiculing me everyday. That- That's why I keep spacing out," she held back tears, "I've just always been super cautious and scared when it comes to relationships after both her and Erric. I know you're different though and I really and truly do love you and I'm sorry." Josh hugged her close, "Shhhh... it's okay." He let her cry into his chest, refusing to let her go.

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"Ami, kiss me." Ami turned her face away, "Not right now, I'm working." Eliza grabbed her face pulling it towards her, "Kiss me God dammit!" The two sat in Ami's room, Eliza sitting on Ami's lap while Ami tried to work on homework. When Ami turned away again, trying to focus on her homework, Eliza grabbed her face, smashing her lips sloppily into hers. Ami tried to scrunch away but Eliza kept going. Ami eventually pushed Eliza away, causing the girl to fall onto the ground, "Stop! I'm trying to do my homework!" Eliza smirked, getting back up and peppering kisses up Ami's leg before resting her chin on her knee, "Aw but please, baby, I'm hungry..." Ami turned away again, "Stop. I don't want to. I have homework." Eliza grunted sitting back down on the floor pouting. The older girl's eyes searched the room before they fell on a pair of scissors. She bolted, picking them up and holding them to her wrist turning to Ami. Ami didn't notice her, too focused on her homework, until she cleared her throat. Ami's eyes widened at the sight of a blade to her wrist. Eliza glared at her, "If you don't then I'll do it." Ami began to protest, "Liz I have homework—!" Eliza pressed it into her skin, piercing it and beginning to bleed. Once Ami saw the blood she shut up and sat back, giving in. Eliza smirked, sitting back down and waiting patiently as Ami reluctantly removed her shorts. When Ami sat back down and Eliza continued where she left off, ignoring the tears running down Ami's face.

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Ami eventually settled down, Josh rubbing her back and wiping her tears away. He knew they'd have a long while before Ami was fully healed with the events in her life. And despite the mistakes he made in the past he wanted to be there every minute he could.

Hi yes the first part is something that actually happened to me.. the flashback did not tho but it literally almost gave ME flashbacks... anyway.

Sorry I've been gone so long I had finals but its finally my summer and I'm gunna be in college wooo service hours yay