Section F: Fairy Tales & Physicists

Chapter 26

Although reluctant to admit it, even to himself, Fields couldn't suppress the little, niggling hope that maybe, just maybe, Peregrine might have decided to make her way up the tunnel and into the control room, and was already busy doing her Peregrinistic Section F schtick, trying to shut the portal down, and thereby saving him from having to figure out how the hell to do something he didn't have the first clue how to do.

Despite the brevity of his relationship with his new partner, he was in no doubt as to which of them was the more qualified for the task. Confronted with a hostage situation, a drug raid or a terrorist plot, Fields would be first in line—gun out, vest on, gaze steely. But a big-arse green portal-thing, that spat out giants and pumpkins with wheels and cows that went splat?

Agent Peregrine, come on down.

At the same time, he'd meant every word he said about being the more redundant of the two. Until today, he'd considered himself something of a man-of-the-world—an experienced agent, a seasoned pro, a guy who'd seen the best and the worst of the human condition—in short, someone who knew what was what.

Until today. Until his eyes had been forcefully opened to the bizarre, the breathtaking, and the clearly bloody dangerous domains that lay beneath the surface of the everyday world, to the shadow-realms of which he had been so blissfully unaware, sailing through life completely and utterly oblivious to just what a clueless noob he'd really been.

And quite frankly, still was. He didn't really know where this case, this cascade of crazy, this day ranked on Peregrine's freak-o-meter—it was certainly maxing his out. But if, as he suspected, what was to him his weirdest day ever was to her simply Tuesday, then it was pretty clear which one of them needed to make it to Wednesday. And which one of them needed to be on duty when the next Tuesday came along, as it no doubt inevitably would. Bloody Tuesdays.

Thus, it was with a curious blend of relief and guilt that he came charging up the staircase from the tunnel, to find that Peregrine was indeed in the control room, standing with her back to him and looking out through the broken windows. In fact, so relieved and guilty was he, he completely failed to anticipate her friendly gut-punch of greeting.

"Ha! The return of the prodigal son. Good to see you, partner. Radovic all sorted out?"

"Uh," he wheezed, "well, in a manner of speaking. You see..."

"Awesome, awesome—you can fill me in on the details later. Hey, what have you done with Graham?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah—after he dropped me off at the tunnel entrance, I sent him to go check on Britney and Embers."

"Right." Peregrine considered this. "So, let me get this straight—you sent a dragon to check on an injured princess, being looked after by a witch? That's going to be interesting."

Fields shrugged. "Well, one of us had to do it, while the other one tried to shut the portal down. I figured I'd fit in here better. And have opposable thumbs."

"You're gonna shut the portal down?" Peregrine goggled at him, but then, evidently sensing feelings may be at risk, toned the incredulity down a notch. "Er, do you think that's wise? Didn't really go so well last time, did it, champ?"

"You think I don't know that?" Wearily, Fields ran a hand through his already thoroughly mussed hair. "They don't exactly teach Portal Closure 101 down at the academy, do they? Which is why it's a good thing you're here. With all your experience of weird, otherworldly bullsh...er, phenomena, I was kind of hoping you might know what to do."

"Me? Fields, your faith is touching, but possibly just a little bit misplaced. I've seen my fair share of freaky shit, that's true. More than my fair share. Actually, way more. Way, wa-a-a-a-a-y more." Her eyes took on a faraway, thoughtful look, before—with an apparent effort—she turned her attention back to Fields. "But you know the thing about freaky shit? Apart from the freakiness, I mean? It doesn't tend to repeat. Not too often, anyway.