Everyday Life with Shu Sakamaki (One Shots)

I'm Sorry

One shot: #3- I'm Sorry
Content: depressed, suicidal
*Trigger warning*

This is my second attempt of cutting my wrist.
I failed during the first attempt, which is that's why...
I'm now cutting deeper and deeper.
Oh, how much more do I have to cut until the pulse stops?
Why is it so hard to cut a single pulse?

The girl thinks as she puts her wrist into a bowl of warm water, watching the blood mixes with the water slowly.
Her face shows a determined but a frustrating expression. She's annoyed that why she still can't cut her pulse successfully yet.
She then picks up the blade and cuts even more deeper before putting her hand back into the warm water.

This is it, I'll end this instantly and I won't have to deal with my problems anymore.
No more scolding, no more work...

All in her mind are those suicide thoughts despite the fact that she knows she still have something else she wants to live for.

Shu.
The only person who she loves and cares.

The girl keeps repeating the process of cutting her wrist and putting it back into the warm water. She hopes that all her blood will be gone soon.

"Damn it! Why is it so hard to cut the pulse huh?!" She bursts out as it takes so slow for little blood to come out from her wrist.
Then, she suddenly laughs while looking at her bloody horrible wrist.

"AHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA......" Like an insane monster, she laughs, loudly and maniacally. Her tears are overflowing. Like raindrops, they drop one by one into the bowl of warm water which her bloody wrist is inside.

Then, someone grabbed her wrist from the warm water in one swift motion.

He looks at her with a calm expression, however, his glance somehow has a very concerning emotion hidden beneath his crystal-like sapphires.

The girl stops laughing, being so afraid suddenly, she's turning around with her body shivering, not daring to look at the person who's holding her horrifying wrist.

"A- S-Sh..u!!! Um, I- I just..."

My heart's beating so fast, so nervous.
How should I explain to him right now?! I, I should say something, right?
I'm trying to fake my prettiest smile to him, but I guess, my mask won't be able to hold too long, it's going to break soon.
I try to explain...
However, I keep stuttering.

"U-um, Sh..uu, you know? I'm..."

I slowly look up to observe him carefully with my little smile. I look into his eyes.
He doesn't say anything, but he looks at my bloody wrist. Then he moves his glance to my eyes. He's staring at me with his usual lazy, seem-to-be-careless expression while still holding my wrist.

However, as I look at him longer and carefully, I can see a tint of sadness inside his beautiful royal blue eyes.

My smile is still here, I'm smiling at him, wanting to convince him I'm fine.

Then, a cold hand reaches to one of my cheeks, gently wiping away my tears with his thumb.

Oh... I forgot I still have the tears on my face.