Alpha Lost

Music

Nostrils flaring, Malcolm rubbed his shower dampened hair as he followed the tantalizing scent of coffee. When he woke alone in the nest, he had had a moment of pure fear followed by loss until he remembered the previous few days.

He was home.

Selah was his home.

He'd left the safe room, and when he'd heard noises from downstairs, he'd decided to get cleaned up before facing his mate. He'd always felt a little rough after one of Selah's heats, but after the past few days, he felt like he'd been run over by a fully loaded transport trailer. Hearing a whistled tune from his obviously wide awake mate made Malcolm shake his head ruefully. He definitely needed a shower to clear his head.

In the shower, he thought about what to say to her. He knew he'd have to tell her everything. They'd always been honest with each other, and while telling her where he had been would be hard, it was nothing compared to leaving her alone for a month. She'd been covered 24/7 by fellow OSF officers, but he hadn't been there. He had faith in his fellow officers, and he had trusted them with his own life many times over. Trusting them with Selah's life had been more difficult than he had imagined. That was nothing compared to having to stand by helplessly as she mourned him.

Her grief at his "death" was the worse thing he had ever experienced. She'd suffered alone. The Alphas on her protection detail looked at him with pain in their own eyes when he'd pressed them for information about her. His Commander had forbidden them to give him updates after the very first one detailing her fainting when the officers came to their door to give her the news. Malcolm had immediately attempted to go to her, and his team had restrained him. They'd succeeded in keeping him from her until he regained his senses - barely. They'd all been hurting the next day. Since then, the Commander had kept the information given to him under a tight leash.

Even without getting updates from his team, he'd known she was suffering because he could feel her pain like a knife his chest. The place where their bond anchored in his soul burned with an unrelenting ache, but it had felt different this past week. At first, he'd thought it was just her impending heat, but then the ache had dulled from stabbing pain to a dull buzz. The tingling in his spine and balls signaled his rut which meant her heat was close or had even started, but the uncomfortable hum was something different. Something unsettling.

Telia, one of the Alphas on his team that he and Selah were close friends with, actually brought the gathered unit to silence when she raised her voice to their Commander, "My Omega, brought a report on Selah. Ashlyn's concerned about her. He needs to know, Commander."

The Alpha Commander James snarled at her for bringing it up in front of everyone, including Malcolm, but as an Alpha female Telia had dealt with her share of snarling pricks for longer than she'd been in the OSF. She didn't snarl back, but her narrowed eyes and firm lips signaled she wasn't backing down from her commanding officer.

Malcolm had pushed aside two of his fellow team members to stand in between them with his back to James. The low growl at his back indicated James' displeasure, but Malcolm found he didn't give two fucks. If something was wrong with his Selah, he needed to know.

Bracing his feet solidly to set his stance, he met Telia's eyes, and his heart stuttered at the tears he could see that clung unshed to the corners of her eyes, "Fuck! What's happened? Was she taken by -"

"No! She's still at the house," Telia rushed to reassure him.

"She's in heat," he stated. Fuck.

"Yes, but that's not what I'm concerned about," Telia paused, "Ashlyn and the other Omegas from the unit have been spending time with Selah trying to help her through her grief. Per the commander's request," at this Telia tilted her head to see around Malcolm and glare at James, "none of them know that you're still alive."

"The risk that they'll tell her is too great," James rumbled from behind Malcolm.

"I'm well aware," Telia ground out through gritted teeth, "Ashlyn would spill her guts in 2.5 seconds." Returning her attention to Malcolm, she ran her fingers through her shoulder length black hair.

"Just say it," Malcolm tightened his fingers into fists at his sides.

"Selah's given up."

"Fuck!" Malcolm exploded.

"Why does Ashlyn think she's given up?" James' doubt-filled voice came from the side of Malcolm where he had moved to clasp his shoulder.

The tone on top of giving the report frayed Telia's patience, "Because while Ash has as much energy as a kid hyped up on sugar, she's not a fucking idiot!"

"The Omegas have been taking food to her, and they've been trying to just spend time with Selah. Ashlyn opened the refrigerator to put in some more food, and she noticed that it had barely been eaten, and none of the most recent food was even touched. She's lost weight," Telia sighed, "Ashlyn said they'd expected that especially with her impending heat, but Selah took off her sweater and Ash...Ash said she's skin and bones."

"Selah told them yesterday not to come back because her heat was starting," Telia reached out to clasp Malcolm's elbow, "Ash felt like it was more of a 'Good-bye' than a 'See you in a few days.' She's worried, Mal."

Turning to face James, Malcolm met his commander's own hard gaze, "I'm going to her."

"We haven't caught him yet, Malcolm."

"Unless you can tell me that this will all be over tomorrow, what's the fucking point? I left to keep her safe. You know what happens when a grieving Omega quits fighting," Malcolm ground out, "I'm here. I'm not dead, but she will be if I don't go to her. If she dies, James...I'll follow her. I won't let her go to the next world by herself, and I can't be without her."

The two formidable men stared at each other.

"I'm not asking permission, James."

James had nodded and orders had flown out like a spray of bullets as team members moved to protect the Alpha/Omega pair.

Showered and awake, he paused at the top of the stairs leading down to the first floor their house and took a deep breath to gather his thoughts. He knew what...no...whom was waiting for him downstairs, and while his heart felt light for the first time in a month, he knew this was going to be a hard conversation. Selah trusted him, but would she still after all he'd put her through? Centering his control around him like a mantle, his hands on the cut V at his hips, he adjusted the black lounge pants that barely rested around his waist.

Selah wasn't the only one who had lost weight this past month.

With one last deep inhale, he started down the stairs, his bare feet silent on the wooden treads. The bottom of the stairs exited into the open floor plan of their house giving him an unobstructed view of their eat-in kitchen table. The sun shining through the windows framed Selah's golden hair around her face as she turned her blue eyes to his.

"Good morning, Mate," came the sharp greeting.

Malcolm winced internally but continued to move towards her knowing he well-deserved whatever she chose to dish out.