───────── m a y a ─────────
He walks barefoot
The fine sand against his sole
He wished he could rub it against his heart
To reignite the warmth like flaming coal
Deep within his chest
Is a cold pain he tries to rid
Cast away and leave no trace
He cared not if it would bleed
If he could zap his little heart
Or stand wet in an open field
Let the thunder strike him hard
He'd take it all without a shield
Maybe he works tirelessly
To erase the memory of a smile
He wants it vanished in a heartbeat
But it's taking him a while
The ocean was his love
And the rain, her fading kiss
In the driest droughts of summer,
Her typhoon would bring him bliss
But not today when it aches
All too much to even think
Of chasing after or releasing her
His boat begins to sink
And the water of his ocean
Is seeping through the cracks
Of this boat as broken as his heart
Soon he's like sitting with rocks
The weight is pushing down
Losing buoyancy as it goes
He submerges into saltiness
Water getting in his nose
But he sits still as he is swallowed
Whole by the ocean that was his love
He drowns into this great abyss, thinking,
Nothing hurts when you've had enough.
But how can cheeks feel so wet
When he is deep down under water?
How can one still yearn to breathe
When the lungs just feel so tired?
How can one try not to swim
When there is still some light in sight?
How can one not try to fight for life
And let the ruin of his mind
Devour and devour
Bits and pieces of his sanity?
Ravish my bitter past, he says
Take away my memories
To drown in all this pain...
After loving so much, what did he gain?
A wounded heart and a swollen mind
Asking, Was it right to love what wouldn't be mine?
The salt stings against his eyeballs
Now red and hurt and tearful
Shattered were his erected walls
Pierced and tainted is his soul
Please stop this pain, he begs
His voice cracking in desperation
I don't want another day like this
It feels like an eternity of damnation
The storm passes and the tides are low
His body rises till it's up afloat
The rain has stopped and the clouds are fair
Upon this moment, gone were all signs of her
Strange as it feels,
But relief is in his heart
He has taken the pain like bitter pill
Now he feels whole in every part
The skies seem so clear
He noticed as he is washed up ashore
The water, so blue and calm
And his heart hurts no more
05.29.2019
Heartbreaks do ache.
But you'll be fine.
You'll see.
