Summertime Sadness

Chapter Eleven

You flipped over in your bed barely opening your eyes that were crusted with tears, dried mascara, and sleep. Your head was hurting, but not as bad as your past hangovers. You probably had cried out all of the alcohol.

The memories of the night came flooding back to you. Everything. The shots. Truth or dare. The kiss.

The kiss. That stupid fucking kiss.

And Mariah. You were mad. You wanted to slap her across the face, but she was also drunk, but was that even an excuse?

"It was just a game." Her words echoed through your brain, but you tried to subside them. The last thing you wanted to replay the kiss over and over.

You finally noticed that Josh wasn't in your room, even though you remember him falling asleep next to you. You grabbed your phone which was charging on your nightstand.

You had three text message from Josh.

Y/N call me when you get a chance.

I'm sorry for what I did.

I miss you please call me.

You locked your phone and threw it back on your bed. The last thing you were going to do was text him back. Ignoring him made you feel slightly better. You decided to go take a shower so you could wash away the memories of last night, or at least try.

You went to the door but it was locked, and you could hear the shower running inside.

"Johnny, hurry up! I want to take a shower!" you pounded on the door. You could hear the shower turn off and the sound of a towel wrapping around a body. The doorknob turned, and you were welcomed with a girl with short blond hair.

"Oh sorry, I thought Johnny was in here." You quickly shuffled over to Johnny's room, barging in without knocking.

"Do you ever knock?" Johnny stood there in his boxers, and you could see his chest was decorated with small round bruises.

"It seems like you had a good night," you teased.

"Better than yours, that's for sure," he slipped on a pair of jeans and his t-shirt.

"Who's the chick anyways? I ran into her while she was showering."

"Her name is Bethany."

"And you brought her home?" you joked.

"To be fair she was already in my house, I just brought her upstairs."

"Player!" you pushed him, causing to trip over his shoe falling on the bed.

"Hey, c' mon Y/N!" he laughed. "How are you, by the way?"

You shrugged, "I'm hurt, but also I feel bad for freaking out. It was just a game and everyone was really drunk."

"Yeah, but Josh shouldn't have made out with a girl."

"It was a mistake." You were surprised by how much you were defending him, especially after how much he hurt you. "I think I'm going to go see him."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Look, Johnny, I'm really happy that you are being a protective older brother but I don't need it. I can handle myself."

"I know you can, and I trust you to take care of yourself. I love you, lil sis."

"I love you too, big bro." You reluctantly allowed him to give you a hug but you both were interrupted by a knock at the door. You both turn to see Bethany still standing there in her towel.

"The bathroom is free now," she whispered.

"Thanks," you said shyly. You maneuvered your way around her and back towards the shower.

You were finally able to take a shower now that it was unoccupied. You washed your hair and shaved your body. Maybe if you looked okay, you would feel better, but the anxiety in your stomach would not go away.

You decided that you really did need to talk to Josh. Once you got out of the shower you threw on a sweatshirt and shorts and headed out to your car. You wondered if you should call him and let him know you were coming, but at the same time, you wanted to just show up so he didn't'[t have time to prepare a stupid excuse or anything like that.

The car ride was quiet but once you arrived at his house you sat in your car for a solid five minutes before getting enough courage to walk up to his front door. You knocked a couple of times and waited for him to open the door.

"Y/N?" Josh opened the door, he was only wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and no shirt, which made you get distracted right away.

"Hi, um, can I talk to you?" you asked, knowing that he could tell you were blushing.

"Sure, do you need me to put a shirt on?" he chuckled.

Yep. He definitely knew what his shirtless torso was doing to you.

You bit your lip, "No, it's fine. It's a nice view." Your comment made Josh smile, but it was quickly erased.

"Y/N, I want to apologize for last night. I know I can't blame alcohol for my actions, but I seriously did not know what to do when she grabbed my face."

"Josh, it's okay. I forgive you. I was also really drunk, and the alcohol didn't make the situation any better. I'm more pissed at Mariah and that chick than you."

He sat down on his couch, and you took the spot next to him. You grabbed his hand and intertwined your fingers with his.

"Thank you for giving me another chance, I'm so sorry."

"Josh, please stop apologizing. Let's just pretend it didn't happen."

He reached forward and rested a hand on either side of your face, rubbing his thumb slowly along your cheekbone, "Y/L/N. you're the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don't ever want to lose you." He stared into your eyes, and you couldn't look away.

You wrapped your hand around his head and pulled it towards you so his lips came crashing down on yours. He pulled you on top of his lap so that you were sitting on top of him.

"Y/N, I want you," he growled into your ear. Your stomach started to do the familiar butterfly feeling, but then anxiety came crawling back in.

"Josh, stop." You threw your leg off his lap and stood up. You walked over to the window and stared out of it.

"Are you okay?" Josh continued to stay sitting on the couch, and you could feel his eyes staring at you.
"I'm just not ready, I'm sorry," you mumbled. You could hear the couch move as Josh stood up and made his way over to you.

"Y/N, it's okay. Whenever you are ready, I'll be ready too. I want your first time to be special," he wrapped his arms around your waist.

"Thank you, Dun. It's going to take some time for me to be able to get over that kiss though, please just be patient" You turned around so that you were facing him. You looked up into his chocolate eyes and smiled.

"Of course, and I know you said no more apologizing but I truly am sorry." His lips were turned up in an apologetic smile and you couldn't help but sigh.

"I have to work in an hour but I'll call you later, okay Dun?"

"Leaving already?" Josh pushed his lower lip out in a pout.

"Maybe if you didn't kiss another girl I would stay," you passively teased making Josh look at the ground. You kind of felt bad, but at the same time, you knew you were going to probably bring it up quite a bit over the next few months as you slowly got over it.

You left Josh's and the entire way to work you were analyzing everything that just had happened. It all seemed like a rush. You were so heartbroken last night, and you were so sure you had lost one of the greatest things that had ever happened to you, but for some reason, this morning you had came to the realization that your guys' relationship was more than just a dumb, drunk kiss.

Your guys' relationship was worth fighting for. He was worth fighting for. He was worth all the tears. You wondered if you were too quick to forgive him, but for some reason, Josh had that impact on you. You felt complete when you were in his arms, and you knew that you made the right decision by forgiving him and allowing you two to work on your guys' relationship and grow as a couple.