Amnesia (Negan x Reader)

4. A Different Man

You are woken by the sound of footsteps above your head. You immediately open your eyes and stand up in one swift motion, feeling panic overcome every part of your body.

It takes a few seconds after Negan has turned around to face you with a can of beans in his hand, for you to finally breathe a sigh of relief. He wasn't trying to murder you. At least not in that moment. 

"Breakfast?" he asks, and of course you don't decline the offer. You split the food between you and gulf down your portion as if you hadn't eaten in days because, well..you haven't. You watch him struggle to eat with his hands still restrained, but you don't do anything about it.

"How are you feeling?" you find yourself asking. Since yesterday, you've been in this internal emotional between between sympathy and hatred. You seem to be stuck between these two emotions, not being able to pick a side.

"Better than yesterday, that's for sure. Although I do find it odd that I don't remember meeting you, but I do know you from somewhere. I just can't quite put my finger on it" he admits, squinting his eyes as if he's trying to travel back in his memories to find you somewhere among them.

Is he trying to mess with you again? You feel frustration take over you. You breathe slowly, trying to calm yourself but it doesn't do much. "You seriously don't know who I am? Do you torture that many people, that you don't even remember who they are?"

"Torture? What in the hell are you talking about hun? You seem to know who I am, so why don't you fill me in as to how the hell we know each other doll?" He leans back on his chair, looking at you expectantly. He's so good at pretending to sound sincere.

When you don't respond, he continues.."I barely remember how I ended up in these woods in the first place. I've seen this hut before, but I can't recall ever being here." He glances around the room as if he's looking for something. 

"So you're saying, you can't remember anything?"

"I do remember, but it's fuzzy. Stuff keeps coming back to me, but there's a lot of gaps missing still."

"What exactly do you remember?" you ask him curiously.

"I remember that the world's gone to shit, being surrounded by all kinds of people , beautiful women in tight dresses included." He chuckles. "I remember defending myself from the dead ones on that first night. I'm almost certain I used that same bat over there" He points his index finger to the table where the baseball bat lay still. 

You speak before you realize what you're saying, "You don't remember torturing and brutally murdering all those innocent people? Forcing them into slavery, just so you could get what you wanted but leaving them with nothing?" Your eyes fill up with tears, your lips are in a tight line, waiting for him to make up another bullshit story.

He stares at you, gobsmacked "I'm sure I've had to kill my fair share of people when I've had no other choice, but murdering and torturing them? I think you've got your facts wrong."

"So you have no idea what I'm talking about?" you press.

"No sweetheart, I have no fucking idea. I'm starting to think you're going a little crazy on me."

You can't help but wonder whether he's actually telling the truth. Maybe he doesn't remember. It did look like he had a pretty bad fall when you found him after all. 

"Does your head hurt at all?"

"Now that you ask that, yes, it really does fucking hurt. The excruciating pain in my arm must've blocked that part out" he raises his hands to touch the back of his head, but once again, he's stopped by the rope around them.

You get up and stand over him, examining his scalp, only to find a big red bump on it. He winces as you touch it. The area is scratched up, but you're surprised it wasn't worse considering how hard he must've his his head when he collapsed. So maybe he is being honest..

You grab his forearm and untie his hands. There's a part of you still filled with doubt but you decide to push that aside. You take his head injury as some kind of proof of his honesty; but you also take assurance from the fact that he's much more injured than you. If he tried anything, it would be easier to defend yourself.

"Change your mind sweetheart?" He asks, tilting his head to the side, a grin appearing on his face.

"This might be the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life, but I'm trusting you. It looks like you hit your head pretty damn hard. I'm no doctor, but that's probably why you're having trouble remembering things."

"Hopefully it'll all come back to me soon" he exhales as he stands up, sounding fairly relaxed considering he's just been told he's basically suffering from amnesia.

"Hopefully not.."  you mutter under your breath.

You watch as Negan takes another dose of pills, lies back on the sofa and falls asleep.

---

You rest your head on the table, brainstorming ideas on how you're going to get yourself out of this situation. You don't even understand how you got stuck with the devil reincarnated in the first place. Do you kill him anyway? Do you just disappear? Do you stay here with him? Do you leave together? All these thoughts are making your head hurt.

You're lucky he did get amnesia, otherwise you wouldn't be sitting here calmly a few feet away from him. With his villainous side gone, he seems like an alright guy. But he still did some fucked up shit. What if he suddenly remembers and turns to his wicked self again?

You decide to wait one more day, you don't want to make any rash decisions. There's also a couple of cans of food still left before you have to go scavenging. It'll be good to rest a little a longer before you have to face the unknown again.

You walk around the room, inspecting every crevice for any other hidden supplies but you find nothing. You make your way out of the hut's door, making sure to take the bat with you. You circle the building, taking note of your surroundings. You must remain prepared; anything could happen at any minute.