Amnesia (Negan x Reader)

10. Is This It?

Half an hour into the two hour drive back to Alexandria and you haven't spoken a word to each other. You're glad he's given you some space to allow you to sort through the mess going on in your brain. You've managed to calm yourself down, and everything's seems a lot clearer now. You're going to get home, reunite with your loves ones and completely forget about Negan.

As if he can hear what you're thinking, he speaks up while still looking at the road ahead. "You know, before this whole shit-show happened, I used to love going on drives in the middle of the night. It gave me a sense of peace and clarity. Helped me make sense of whatever fuckery was going on in my brain." 

You look up at him, but don't respond. He continues. "I still go on drives sometimes. Not nearly as often of course, but when I'm stuck with some shitty decision to make, it's the only thing that does the trick of helping me choose."

Surprisingly, you can relate to what he's saying. You never thought you'd be similar in any kind of way, but you guess the world's always full of surprises. There's flesh eating zombies around you for God's sake! You find yourself wanting to share your own thoughts, but you hesitate. You weigh the pros and cons, and you can't see how it could hurt talking to someone. Maybe that's what you need, to let it out. Sure, he's not the best choice but it's all you've got right now and it'll make time pass by faster which is a bonus.

"This reminds me of when I was little and my dad used to take me on little road trips. It became the one thing I looked forward to. He loved nature and so we'd drive through the mountains, admiring the greenery surrounding us. I'd breathe in the smell of pine and fresh air, with the windows rolled down which would completely mess up my hair. Sometimes he'd put his favourite song on, and we'd sing it at the top of our lungs knowing that only the birds and wild animals could hear us." You smile as you reminisce of the past. 

You catch him staring at you, but he quickly looks away. It makes your heart skip a beat. "What's the name?" He pipes up.

"What?" You ask, confused by his question.

"The name of your dad's favourite song." He states, and you don't know how you missed that in the first place.

"Oh, okay. Don't laugh - it's I Love Rock And Roll" You say, suddenly feeling a little shy.

He laughs, despite you specifically telling him not to. "Why would I laugh at that?"

"Well you're laughing now aren't you?" You say, a unwanted smile creeping up on your face.

"Yeah, but not at that. I'm laughing at your reaction." He says, continuing to guffaw as he looks at you.

"What reaction? What do you mean?" Your laughter increases just as his does.

"Nothing, don't worry about. You're cute, is all." At this, you feel heat start to burn your cheeks and you look out of the window hoping he doesn't notice.

"Lucky for you, I actually have the Joan Jett And the Blackhearts CD." Negan informs you, as he rummages through the glove compartment of his jeep. When he finds it, he holds it up to show you. "Right...here."

"You're kidding?" You blurt out, not being able to keep your enthusiasm at bay. It's been so long since you last heard this song, and you associate it with some of your happiest memories.

"Wouldn't have said it if I was kidding." He states, and slides the CD into the slot. The song starts to play and you both enjoy the guitar solo at the beginning of the tune. You're taken by surprise when he actually starts to sing along. "I saw him dancing there by the record machine..."

You stare at him for a moment, waiting for him to stop singing but he doesn't. You're trying to hold back but the desire to sing along becomes to strong, so you give in completely. "And I could tell it wouldn't be long till he was with me, yeah with me."