A few days passed . And we had been talking on snapchat but we didn't really acknowledge each other at school often . It was if we had already drifted apart .
As always school was shit and boring . My " friends " always dragged me away out of some sort of jealousy.
I wish I could explain the feeling I had when I talked to Steph . It was like I was incomplete until we were talking .She was like my savior . Every time I saw her message , my day grew a little better.
We connected on so many different levels .She was amazing , funny , caring and beautiful . I wanted to be closer to this girl !!
When we had to stop talking I was sad and had no one to talk to except my guy " friends " .
Talking to guys was a stupid move . I felt degraded and ashamed of my self . But in the moment , I felt like I was doing the right thing and solving my problems with my body .
While me and Steph talked she asked me how many boyfriends I had had in my life . When I added them all up , I was disgusted in my self .
23.
I had had 23 boyfriends in the period of just 2 years . My first boyfriend was in year 7. That boy broke my heart and left me shattered . Fuck him for making me feel that way.
Boys are useless and that boy took my innocence . He touched me in the places I had never been touched before and then he dumped me for not going all the way with him .
At that point my life had gone down the drain and he had told everyone in school what he had done to me so I was labelled as a "whore" . My heart was broken and my reputation was shattered , so when I changed schools half way through year 8 , it was a fresh start for me .
I had gotten to know the school so well by the start of year 9. It was now second term and my actual friend who I won't name , told me that there was some sort of " concert" in the library ,where the students would perform .
So i agreed to tag along in order to shut her up and also to see some talented young students .
So we walked Into the school library. The librarian was your typical stuck up whore . Always bitching to the other librarians .
So anyway we sat down in blue chairs all in rows . I noticed that Steph and all her "friends " were sitting across the room . After one boy had finished his guitar solo the teacher asked who would like to go next .
And next thing I know , Steph had been pressured to sing . At first she hesitated but then she got up there , grabbed a guitar and started singing .
She had the voice of an angel .
I had never been Inlove with someone's voice before .
The way she sang ,man!
She was singing the most elegant song . Hallelujah .
At first our eyes locked for a few seconds before she looked away . You could see a smile appear on her face .
A few seconds later our eyes locked again . My smile grew instantly . She looked perfect . Her expression was perfect . It was as if she was singing to me , or trying to send a secret message to me .
In that moment , I fell inlove . But I just didn't know it .
