Saturday morning the alarm went off . The buzzing sound made my head spin .
I got up and packed my bags and got ready .
I was about to wake mum up and leave but then I felt my heart brake .
What have I done ? I had cried for weeks to be with her and now I didn't want her ?
I reasoned with myself and said it was because she had already hurt me so bad so now all my feelings for get where gone . There was nothing left .
All of a sudden I felt sad .
I didn't wanna go . But it was to late . Steph was expecting me any moment .
So I woke mum up . And we drove there .
Steph answered the door and we went in . I put my bags down and went into the music room .
And we kissed . All my feeling slowly crashed back down and my heat pounded for her . But we still weren't dating .
"You know.." I said
" this is the first time that I have kissed you were u have been single ".
This thought made me sad . Honestly I felt like I was being used and that she didn't really love me. Was everything just a lie ?
If it was real how come it felt wrong ?
I changed my sexuality for her but yet , I didn't want her .
We spent the whole day together . And it was now 7.00pm . Dinner time .
We had an amazing dinner . Her mum made the best fried rice I have ever tasted .
My feelings about Steph had varied throughout the day and now eveyone was asleep and we were alone in her room.
She sat me on the bed . And looked me in the eyes .
She started talking ,and she told me a story , a story about us.
" Courtney , I never meant to hurt you " she started ,
" She forced me to be with her , if I didn't be with her she said she was gunna kill herself. "
As she spoke my mind flooded with thoughts . If she loved me , if she really loved me , she wouldn't have cared about that girl , she is gutless she wouldn't really kill her self . As she spoke I seemed to get angrier but sadder at the same time .
And she continued .
"I still remember the first day that I saw you , I'd heard about a girl named Courtney but I'd never really seen her for my self before until the first lesson of English . I remember sitting down in my chair kind of pissed off that none of my friends where in that class , I turned my gaze towards you and then I saw you , siting across the room .
' she was engaged in a conversation , with a girl I presumed to be her best friend. I didn't know what it was about this girl , but instantly my brain was filled with the thought of how beautiful she was .
' And she has the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen . And then a massive smile stretched across the face and I knew that this girl was gunna be somebody to me . No matter what this girl was gunna be apart of my life "
And then after she stopped talking , she cried .
She looked so heart broken , just as I was a few days ago.
" you don't even want me anymore " she cried even harder .
And then we kissed .
" of course I want you " I said .
She smiled and said " are you mine " .
Yes .
Yes I was.
