Love and its Timing

Chapter 4: Edited

Tick tock tick tock….

It’s just the sound of my clock that I can hear. It’s Thursday and it’s just one more day before I have to face Jake with all the answers to his questions and the confrontation for me to get the answer to mine.

Being annoyed, I put my Ipod on my dock and listened to Demi Lovato’s I Really Don’t Care. I listened to it until it’s time to prepare myself for the busy day ahead.

Thursday came by so fast. We were able to finalize the design for the magazine for the new client. I feel so exhausted that I asked for a day off from work to think about my plans about talking to Jake and on finding out about my dream.  Luckily, my boss also thinks that I need it since I have never taken any breaks since I started in the company. Yes, I know I am workaholic.

On our way home, Mia keeps blabbing about the guy he saw who asked for her number. I am really not in the mood to listen to her flirtatious stories.

“Hey!!! Are you even listening to me?” she asked me annoyed.

“Err, what’s that again?” I asked her. She just rolled her eyes on me.

“What’s bothering you? I have been noticing that you are acting strange.” She said.

“I’m sorry; there are just so many things in my mind right now.” I said looking down on my hands in my lap.

“Like?”

“The presentation of the final design tomorrow, me talking to Jake, oh Gosh, this is stressful.” I let out a deep sigh.

“I know that the presentation don’t really bother you since I will be the one to present and you never got stress with work.” She stopped the car and looked at me. “Spill it” she continued.

“I can’t. I’m not ready to talk about it. Can we just please go home? I need to relax.” I said as I looked out the window. Neither of us started a conversation till we got home.

I am really thankful of having Mia as my Best bud; she is a good listener even though she also talks too much. She never over talked me; she lets me finish my story then tells her side of it. She can be annoying sometimes because she knows I can’t hate her. She knows how to handle my mood swings, she knows what makes me happy when I’m down, when I need my quiet time and when to kick my ass whenever I’m doing something really unacceptable or something that would ruin me. I really don’t want to be confronted right now; so, I automatically went to my room and shut my door. I will tell her the whole story eventually, but not now. I need to clear my mind first. I don’t want anything or anyone affect my decision making.

I don’t have appetite to eat or do whatever except to have a cold shower to wash away my worries for the possibilities of tomorrow’s events.

I let the cold water run thru my body, as I soothe myself with the smell of my Bath and Body Work’s Warm Vanilla Sugar Shower gel.

I feel so relaxed. I enjoyed the relax feeling for 20 minutes. I forgot everything that has been bothering me for quite some time now. The unexplainable dream, Jake’s secret, my choice between my love or my career. Just thinking those make me throw up.

I changed to my PJs and towel dried my hair while I was looking at myself in the mirror. I smiled to myself and sighed. I then crawl to my bed to sleep. I want to sleep early to have enough strength tomorrow.

“God give me a sign” I smiled then closed my eyes and finally drowned myself to sleep.

********************************

“Don’t let go. I never left, I’m still here, I am waiting for you, here in our paradise” he lifted my chin to look at him. His grey eyes are full of sorrow, it’s begging for I don’t know what. I can see tears flowing endlessly.  We are in the middle of a bridge that is so fragile. I’m afraid to move because anytime it can break and I might fall.

“You left, you weren’t there. I almost died. How could you move on that fast?” I tried to move one step away.

“I was always there, the place where we shared our happy memories.” He cupped my cheeks.  His eyes show happiness as he tells me about the place. I can see a smile curved on his lips even if his face is still blurry. Tears are still flowing continuously. Just when he was about to kiss me, the bridge started shaking. I looked at the end of the bridge and I can see a familiar face walking towards us. It’s Jake!

Jake pulled me forcefully away which caused the bridge to shake and rattle, my knees are shaking and I don’t know how to continue walking, I don’t know where to hold, I’m biting my lips with the fright that I am feeling. As we reached the middle, suddenly the bridge broke. I was holding the rope to still keep the bridge connected. The guy held my hand and he let me go the rope that holds his part of the bridge.  Jake moved back as I struggle to reach him. He didn’t try to pull me to the safe side he was just looking to me.

“If you are hurting and struggling to pull yourself up, let go, I’ll be waiting at the bottom to catch you” the guy shouted as he is falling.

I can’t see him; probably the fog is covering him. My arm is hurting so I let go without second thoughts.

I keep on falling. I saw him on the bottom. I was about to reach him until I can feel a shake, stronger than intensity 5 earthquake.