Never Worked

Chapter 6

Dover, DE-April, 2010

Mom and I are on our way to orientation at Delaware State University. College is just around the corner. I don't know whether to be excited or scared. I never would have thought I would end up in Delaware for my education. I always thought I would stay in Maryland to go to school. I didn't want to leave my church. My church family is a source of love unlike anything I've ever seen. They love me unconditionally and they helped me get through the past few years. To them, I'm perfect and without flaw. A complete contradiction to the "actual" family I have.

I still haven't 'technically' been accepted into DSU. I fit all the requirements, but you never know. I've pretty much just been walking all over with my touring group. Somewhere along the way, mom and I got separated and she went with the parents' group.

The campus is really quite beautiful. Manicured lawns, large historic buildings, and flowers blooming in gardens strategically placed around the grounds. I could definitely start my future here.

After our tour guide brings us back to the Administration building where the tour started, we disperse and are left to our own devices. I see mom over near the small café located near the front of the building and proceed to that direction.

"Hey mom." I say when I finally make it there.

"Hey Dreah, you done with your tour?" she asked. She was eating a sandwich, she offered her chips and I took a couple. "Yea, they said we can just explore on our own now".

"OK, I asked about where we should go to turn in your transcript and they said at the records desk, over there". She pointed to the unnecessarily long line behind me. I'd probably graduate before I even made it to the front. I made a face and she gave me a knowing look. "Yeah, it's long. I would of gotten in line when I first got back but I wasn't sure when you'd be finished with your tour and I didn't want to get to the front without the papers cus' you got them".

Well I guess it's now or never. I walked up to the end of the line and my mom followed.

All I had left to turn in for the application process was my transcript. I had a pretty good GPA, but you always hear how college is so hard to get into. I'm nervous. This is the only college I'm applying to because it's the only four-year university near us that has Fashion Design as a major. I could go to a technical college, but I want a bachelor's degree. I have the opportunity to be the first in my family to graduate from college and I want to make the most of it. A four year degree is more likely to get me a better job after I graduate, and I want the full college experience.

An hour and 1/2 of complaining, hurt feet, and a million eye rolls later we finally make it to the front of the line. The woman behind the desk looks more through with this process than we are and borderline impolitely asks "How may I help you?"

She better get that attitude in check, 'cus Mya don't play that and it's going to be kind of hard to get into a college your mother was once arrested at. My mom walks in front of me and rests her hand on the desk. "My daughter started the application process and is here for orientation. She still has to turn in her transcript and we were told this is where to turn it in". Mom is always good with this stuff. She can put on a corporate voice at the drop of a dime. Guess its years of customer service experience. Her whole voice changes and she turns into "Miss Mya Gateway-Franklyn". It gets results. I hand over the paperwork and she does her thing. About 30 to 45 seconds later she looks up and smiles. "You have offically been accepted to Delaware State University, Congratulations."

I just stare, shocked that this was that easy. Mom, however is less surprised and squishes me to her. "Ahh, my baby! I'm so proud of you." She says. I'm sure people are curiously staring at us but she doesn't care. She wouldn't usually mind anyway. I still haven't blinked yet. I shake the lady's hand and she hands me some more paperwork and a DSU lanyard. Mom hasn't stopped smiling. I thank her and we make our way out the front building.

I'm still in shock waiting for my first blink, and mom hasn't stopped talking since we made it to the door. We're at a celebratory lunch at a Red Lobster just down the street and we just sat down to our table. "My baby's gonna be a Hornet! I'm so excited! We need to get some t-shirts and hats. You know your grandparents are gonna want some too. They'll want everyone to know their grandbaby is going to Delaware State University. But I'm not surprised, I knew you could do it, Pookey! DeAndre will want one too."

I just let her ramble on and try to come to grips with what just happened. She loves the opportunities to brag about me and take credit for any success I achieve. It fits her current narrative. Later on, if I do something less than pleasing to her, none of it will matter. She just goes with whatever she feels at the moment. I look into my mom's smiling face and wait for the inevitable dawning of recognition. Maybe a bomb or something? I just got accepted into college. Ha! I just got into college!

Finally, I look at mom, who is now calling every human who could have ever possibly been related to us, and tell her I'm going to the bathroom. She doesn't spare me a glance and waves me on. I don't have to pee, I just need a minute.

I walk into the public restroom and make sure I'm alone before my face breaks out into the biggest smile I've ever attempted. I look in the oversized mirror and the reflection of the Del State lanyard I accidently on purpose brought into the bathroom with me and let it out.

"I made it! I got accepted into college! HA! I got accepted to Delaware State University!!" I yell at myself. I proceed to do what could only be described as a childish, drunken happy dance. I watch myself in the mirror as I twirl the lanyard in the air like ribbon twirler, shake my booty, and hop from foot to foot. I normally have amazing rhythm and coordination for a big girl, but that's not what this is about. This is just pure joy. I look like an idiot, and I'm ok with that.

All this time, all I heard was how hard it was to get into college. How I have to keep my grades up if I want to get anywhere. How I can't get in trouble because it goes on my permanent record and I won't get into a good school. So many times my family, both in the church and at home, said college wasn't an option for me, it was definite. It was what I was going to do whether I wanted to or not because I had too much talent to waste, but it was going to be so difficult to do.

So many nights I was nervous I wouldn't be able to do it and worried I wasn't as smart as people thought. So many times kids at school got upset because their preferred school rejected them and they had to settle. This school was it for me, there was no plan B. I had everything riding on whether I got accepted. Now I can graduate high school in June with everything going just how I planned.

There's no music, and there's no song, but I make my own with my mouth. "Eh, Ah, Eh, Eh, Ah! I'm in college, college, COLLEGE!" 

I'm breakin' it down now, pumping both of my fists out and simultaneously shaking my hips back and forth. And I still have the hugest smile known to man on my face. I bust out laughing at my reflection, catch my breath, and hop from foot to foot one more time in a jerky tap dance move.

I stand up straight, readjust the clothes I disheveled in my moment, straighten my hair in the mirror, and take a deep breath. I smile one more time at my reflection and just think it this time. 'I got into college!' Then I walk out of the bathroom and head back to the table where our food has finally arrived. Mom sees me walk up and stops the fork raised to her mouth.

"You ok, baby?" She asks looking concerned. I give her a small smile as I sit down and nod.

"Yea, I'm good, mom".