Heartbeat

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I live the days listening to life
a dead life which begs to be ended
but I tell myself--with no faith
"I am not dispensable"

Sometimes it is stronger
the rare times,
those days when my smile is true
when the world is crumbling
the days I believe
"I am a diamond"

Beat...
    Beat...
        Beat...

It continues and I listen
the delicate flower
which dies at first exposure
and I think of the thin layer,
the fine skin that stops the blade
and every time I convince myself
"I am not weak"

A drained version of the once live beat
on the very edge of the border
a thin line separating it from obliteration
a blur that mixed death and life
"Maybe I am not worth it"

The glinting blade is a beauty
the ticket to an open door
all I had to do was walk through it
and I had that ability

Beat...
    Beat...
        Beat...
            Silence...

The door has been walked through


Heartbeat ~ Zenith Ringmaster

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