Midnight Regulations

Flourish , wither , bye.

I find myself concerned. But am i really worried? Is there really hope in my heart ? Do i want there to be nothing? I'm shifting into something,and i am wondering when will i stop being myself. I made an oath when i was a kid. That no matter how much i will change, the essence of my soul will remain the same. When will i break it? And what about my soul? Is it broken yet? Did anything ever really happened or was it just a fluke? Craving for love. All my life is a journey , and the destination hides a treasure. Opening the hidden chest i dreamt about finding love inside. Sailing in this sea called life , i do not remember where it all started. I just woke up inside my ship , not knowing either if i'm a pirate or a sailor. What should i do? Somewhere in this world, i know that the treasure lays burried. What is my role? Just to go for it without a map? Even the best sailors have to go to the land sometimes. Taking breaks. This sailor encountered a lot of things, acknowledged them, but his mind was set to the treasure. And time passes by. The things he encountered clinged onto him. Now he is unable to keep sailing to the treasure without rest. He has more cares in the world, but his soul, is still missing the most desired thing. It ravishes him. Emotions overloading his mind , soul , and body . I am not a machine, but willing to become one. My time has passed by, becoming vanilla and losing the skills to sail. I am afraid of the water. My ship has lost faith in me. I am tired, i am not allowed to have things of my own. I became someone who's duty is simply to serve others , to surrender myself and my own desires . I still have feelings. And they're keeping me back. I became a waiter , one who still dreams about the hidden chest.