Chapter Two

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Tick
Tick
Tick
Tick

The only sound that could be heard was the continuous tick from the clock. Counting down the seconds. The minutes. The hours.

It feels like forever since I heard the news of my mom's passing, but in reality it was only a few short hours. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I couldn't even cry.

Tick
Tick
Tick
Tick

It had to be a joke. This isn't real. She'll walk through the door any second now. Everything will be fine. I'll wake up from this nightmare.

I stared at the door, watch and waiting. Nothing could tear me mom down, she was the strongest person in the world. Right? She wouldn't leave me all alone.

Diiing

I jumped in shock at the sound of the doorbell. It had to be my mom. She wasn't gone. I jumped up and ran towards the door. I grabbed the handle and swung the door open.

My hope was immediately stolen away from me as I was met by not my mother, but a police officer.

No.

"Excuse me miss, are you Eden Richards."

"I-I am." I stuttered out.

"Would you mind coming down to the hospital with me? We need you to confirm that it was your mother that died in the crash." He said softly. He was hesitant, like one wrong word and I would go crashing down. Honestly that was how I felt.

".....o-okay..."

I walked past him towards his car, him following close behind me. Was there a possibility that it wasn't my mom?

Deep down I knew it had to be. I didn't want to accept it. I was in denial.

Denial.
The first stage of grief.

•••

Once we made it to the hospital I opened the door with shaking hands and followed the officer through the corridors of the hospital.

Finally, he led me through a door. It smelt like hospital. Disinfectant. I cringed at the smell and took a breath through my mouth, holding my breath.

In the middle of the room, there was a table. Something was placed on top of it.

Not something, someone.

I stepped towards the body. It was a woman. Not just any woman. It was the woman who raised me. The same one that sang lullabies to me during storms. The one that took care of my cuts and bruised I gained as a kid. The one that taught me how to cook, shave, lectured me when I got in trouble.

It was my mom.

But then again it wasn't.

My mom has beautiful vibrant skin and long luscious chestnut hair. She was kind-looking and gentle.

This person was pale, covered in multiple cuts and bruised. I rather mean-looking gash was placed on her forehead. Her hair was no longer the shiny hair I knew. Instead, it was a dull-looking. She was so still. I placed me hand above her cheek, but I pulled me hand back at the freezing temperature.

I looked towards the doctor and officer looking at me in silence. I couldn't say anything. There was a lump in my throat and tears blurred me eyes. The only thing I could do was give a slight nod of my head towards the officer, confirming that this was my mom.

He took a large intake of breath and gently guided me out of the room by my shoulders. I only focused on my breathing. I couldn't breathe. Everything was dizzy.

Not here, not now.

I didn't notice I was back in the car until a voice called out to me.

"Miss Richards? Miss Richards! Look at me Eden." The officer demanded.

I tilted me head towards him as tears still blurred my vision.

"Why?" I asked simply.

He gave me a confused glance which caused me to repeat myself.

"Why? Why her?"

He gulped down before answering, "Sometimes bad things happen to good people."

I was silent after that. I had nothing to say after that so I looked out towards the window, my tears no longer there. I felt empty besides the dull aching in me chest. I heard him give a sigh before pulling out of the parking lot.

•••

When we made it back home, I numbly opened the car door and walked towards the door. No words were said between the officer and I until I made it to the entrance.

"Listen kid, do you know of any relatives that would be willing to take you in?"

I thought about it. It was only ever mom and I. She was an only child and her parent kicked her out because of her pregnancy with me. After that she lost all communication with them. They're probably gone by now. I never knew my father so he wasn't really an option.

I looked at him and gave a subtle shake of my head.

He sighed once again.

"Alright, I'll inform the hospital that we'll need to pull up your birth records. For now, take it easy. Do you think you'll be fine by yourself for a little while?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." I mumbled.

"Just in case, here's my number. If you need anything I'll be right over. I'm sorry for your loss." And with that he left.

I walked in and looked around. The once bright home now looked dull and lifeless. It wasn't home anymore.

I looked at the walls the were decorated with pictures of my mom and I. Anger started coursing through me.

This is all my fault.
This wouldn't have happened if I didn't get suspended.
She wouldn't have been out on the road.
It should have been me.

I let out a scream and grabbed the nearest picture off of the wall and flung it to the floor. It shattered. It was a picture of my mom and I eating ice cream for my 8th birthday.

I grabbed another, and did away with it in the same fashion. I grabbed chairs and through and flipped them over. I banged my fist in the walls and let out another sob.

Finally exhausted, I slid down the wall. I couldn't breathe anymore. I brought my knees to my chest and sobbed. It was no longer my mom and I. It was just me.

It's all my fault.

Sobs racked my body and my breathing became shallow. Black dots danced around my vision before everything went black.

Anger.
The second stage of grief.

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