Raped

ICU

Mom arrived right when Ellen had left. Ellen's behavior seemed very strange to me.

One thing that made me curious was the way she responded when I first mentioned Leroy. Does she know something about him? Is he connected to her? All these questions started piling up my mind. Ever since the rape, I have these questions popping in my head. I have changed so much since that day. I get irritated and angry at the same time. The new version of me is utterly introverted who hates every human being. Speaking to Isaac or even my Mom makes me awkward. 

After Ellen left, I didn't step out of my room. The day was long and tiring. My entire body was in agony. I sat by the window and stared at the sky. I thought about how I got raped. As Ellen told me earlier, it is not easy being a rape victim.

The night I was raped, they left me onto the street. I was alone, all by myself. Can you imagine? It wasn't even my hometown, or a place where I lived for years. I was there for three days only. I was sobbing silently. I couldn't even make the slightest movement with my fingers. My whole body was paralyzed. The time I remained there was long and painful. I could no longer keep my eyes open, and gradually I closed my eyes. When I opened my eyes, I was at a different place. The first few seconds were blurry.

It was a room. It was probably the quietest room I had ever been in. It had numerous medical supplies that created a very disturbing noise. Looking at the oxygen mask placed over my nose and mouth, and the cannula stuck to my hand, I realized I was in the ICU. Even then, my body could make zero movement. After a few minutes, a nurse came and took off the mask. I tried sitting up but she forbade me. With her perfectly toned petite hands, she touched my head and told me not to worry. She gave me two white pills and asked to take rest. The medicines made me sleepy.

The next time I woke up, I was in my cabin. Everything was white. White walls, white curtains and white blankets. I sat up, and looked sideways. To my left was a mirror, where I could clearly see my reflection. I looked terrible. I had bruises all over my body. There were scratches and bite marks around my neck and arms and everywhere else. It was evident that I was raped. This thought made me sick. My mom entered the room and found me awake. Her eyes were red and teary. She rushed towards me and slapped me. Not once or twice, but she kept on slapping me until a nurse came and forced her to stop. I again looked at the mirror, my face just looked a bit more red.

'Halsey you are a disgrace. Why didn't you die? Being dead was way better than being raped,' my mom yelled at me. Her words were so clear. That is why, I distanced myself from her.

I was quietly lying on the hospital bed. I felt so weak. That same nurse came to check on me. She tried to speak to me, but I wouldn't reply. All I could do was stare at nothing particular. Finally I asked her how I ended up in the hospital.

"Well, you were in a pretty bad state. You were bleeding a lot. Had all bruises and scratches, it seemed like some wild animal bit you. It was a boy who brought you here, I don't remember his name but he was about your age and was crying a lot for you. And hey, he was constantly saying sorry Hals. Anyways, you do know you have a lot of internal injury right?" she replied. A boy of my age calling me Hals, I thought. It was Isaac. Why would he bring me here? While I was engulfed in my thoughts, the nurse poked me in the arm.

She told me I had to be hospitalized for a few more days, and that the police need me to tell them everything that happened. I felt lonely; my mom slapped me for getting raped. Why would she? Did I ask them to do it? What was my fault? So many questions were in my mind which had no answer. 

Three officers entered my room and greeted me. I asked them to come home after I was discharged. Two of the officers were kind enough agree, while there was one, who stared at me in way that made me uncomfortable.