Dysphoria

Start From the Beginning?

So the best way to do this is probably to start from day one. Nah just like short things that may have alluded to my future when I was a young child.

Background:

I come from a super conservative family who had absolutely no influence on me being trans and they actually pushed me away from it but we'll talk about my coming out story later. 

Disclaimer:

If you experienced any of these things it doesn't automatically mean you're trans these were just things that could've possibly alluded to it for me personally. 

Four years old:

There is a video of me on the family video camera saying, "Mom look, look mom I'm a boy mom." I was playing war with my friend (male). This was something we did quite often and it was a shocker. After I say this you hear my mom say, "Okay, (deadname) it's time to go inside" frantically even though it is light outside and curfew was dusk.

Childhood:

Tomboy to an extreme I packed before I knew what trans was before I knew what packing was. I literally had juggling balls I'd shove in my shorts and pretend was my dick (don't judge I was like seven)

Childhood 2: 

I always played the boy characters in games and claimed they just "looked cooler" but it was because I wanted to look like them. I always felt that disconnect between my body and my brain it was just more subtle back then.

Childhood 3: 

My mom made me get girl friends because I only hung out with guys and played basketball and airsoft. (The girls are actually some of my best friends to this day I mean like practically my sisters but still the point is driven I only hung out with guys on my terms). 

Childhood 4: 

People always thought I was a little boy and I would always feel pride in being called a boy before I knew what trans was like I found out in 7th grade what it was this was wayyyyy before that. Even with long hair they called me a little boy seriously because I looked like a boy I tried to.

Childhood 5: 

I was pissed when I wasn't allowed to take off my shirt to swim and after my mom left I always did anyway until I started developing breast tissue there and I couldn't because i understood the implication. (That day sucked and I stopped swimming)

Childhood 6:

I was really into skateboards and bmx like I knew all the bike tricks and I got a boy bike because I told my mom it was better for tricks on (for the record it was it had pegs and the girl bikes didn't)

Childhood 7: 

I just really hated anything girl after I developed  a mind to dress myself and do my own thing I always went masc. I didn't even mean to.

So these are just a few minor things and like these don't mean you're trans you can just be a masculine girl.