Requiem for the boy

Chapter 10

Over three months had passed.

Sarah had given birth to a beautiful baby girl, whom she had named Allison Christine Johansen. She had the blonde hair and blue eyes that were obviously a family trait.

Allie was a bright baby and she spent a lot of time with Jen and Jeff as well as spending time with her grandfather.

Jeff had moved in with Jen, providing her with some kind of normal family life and she was continuing to live as normally as possible, although she took Monty for a walk every evening near where homeless people hung out hoping Monty would scent him and find him. Jeff followed at a safe distance, not really wanting her to stop, but insisting on keeping her safe.

Frieda Johansen had been sentence to life for the murder of her son and the trafficking of her daughter to Brandel and for good measure the District attorneys had added the assault of a federal agent on top. Shrieking at the top of her lungs she had been hauled away to her cell with her lawyer filing an appeal to have her retried under diminished responsibility.

Hetty and the team had been in court to see her get sentenced, not just because they felt that they owed it to Deeks, but because they had hoped he might show up. Hetty thought she had seen him in the shadows outside the courtroom, but by the time Callen and Kensi had gone to where she had indicated there was no sign of him.

The team had refused to replace Deeks despite Vance insisting that they hire another liaison; they took on a series of temps who were informed as soon as they arrived that they would be no substitute for what they had lost, most quit within a week or two.

The team was snappy; although they were focused as usual and they worked just as hard, it seemed like the soul of the team, the laughter was missing.

Eric and Nell had a facial recognition program running on his computer; every camera in L.A. was tuned to look for Deeks.

But to date there had been no sign of him.

Deeks woke up, moving his position as his shoulder was, as usual, throbbing.

He sat up, moving the woman who was in the bed beside him and grabbed some painkillers off the nightstand and washed them down.

The woman woke up and looked at him.

"Hey," she said with a smile.

Deeks looked at her, "Get out." He snarled.

The woman stood up and grabbed her clothes, Throwing a handful of bills at him she got dressed and as she reached the door she turned to him, "I'll be at the bar again tonight, if you want Max, you were worth every penny."

Deeks threw his pillow at her, winced as his arm twinged and as she shut the door he got up stumbled to the bathroom and vomited.

Flopping back into the bed he threw his face into the pillow and let out a sob.

Just one…only one, it was all he allowed himself. He deserved this life, he had ruined his own life by trying to help, he knew better now.

Deeks was gone, Max was all that was left and Max didn't help anyone but himself.

Looking in the mirror Deeks had to remind himself that he was Max now, this was the first time that he had voluntarily become Max, Max didn't get hurt, Max didn't hurt others….Max was a safe place for him to be, a safe person for him to be.

He hadn't set foot in L.A since the day he had walked? Limped out of the hospital, he had lost everything, he couldn't work with the team anymore, and why would they have wanted him. He was a screw up, Sam was right. He wasn't the right man for the job; he had just needed to get away.