Just a Week // Langst

Chapter One : Pidge

Tw: depression, suicide attempt, and self harm.

(A/N — I'm back and coming back strong! I have a few ideas for new stories so I hope y'all look forward to them! This story is over 5,000 words. I apologize for spelling mistakes! Please point them out so I can fix them! Thank you!)

<><><><><><><><><>

They say that everything is obvious with hindsight. Looking back, I agree. What happened should have been detected by us all a lot sooner. It wasn't just that we were distracted at the time. We were fighting life and death battles constantly. The Galra had become more than a mere thorn in our sides; they were lethal, and determined to destroy all of us.

Allura and Shiro had been focused on a strategy to keep the Galra at a distance. I had been tinkering with my inventions and gadgets. We didn't see it coming. But we should have. Lance had always been emotional, someone who felt things a lot more intensely than the rest of us. We thought the fresh wounds were from battles, and didn't notice his descent into a very dark place. His blue eyes and frustration didn't even register until it was almost too late.

Depression is a strange and debilitating illness. I know a little about the condition, although my interest isn't from personal experience. I have read about depression and understand how it can cause a person to slide into their own personal Hell.

Besides, when did we have the time to be depressed? We were always fighting for our lives or engaged in training and procedures. The time for personal introspection was little to none, and so none of us saw the changes in Lance until he was well past the point of no return.

Looking back, I wish I could inform my past-self of what was occurring. Lance seemed beaten down and during one of our many battles had quite literally given up - waiting for the fall of a sword to end his life. Keith had intervened before the Galra soldier had the opportunity to finish him off. The lecture afterwards was legendary. Even I was cringing at Shiro's harsh words, meant to inflame Lance, to make him angry, to make him react.

When Shiro realized that Lance wasn't going to conduct himself, except for hunched shoulders as if he were expecting a blow, Shiro's voice softened and his berating ceased. He went quiet and brooding as we all trudged back to the castle, occasionally sneaking a glance at his younger teammate.

At the castle, the episode was quickly forgotten amidst a haze of training, battle plans and strategy assessments. Allura was pressing us hard; no doubt preparing us for the trials ahead.

During one training session I was paired with Lance. Usually I would hate to be sparring with the guy who made short work of me. However, Lance fought on autopilot; his movements almost sluggish as he blocked and weaved to avoid my attacks. I was the one to win this training session, but Lance barely acknowledged his defeat. He shrugged and left the training deck before I could get my head around his defeatist attitude.

Our fights became more intense and the Galra onslaught was ruthless. We were engaged in battles at least three times a week. It wasn't uncommon to see fresh wounds and bruises on my teammates, but Lance seemed to be faring worst when it came to injuries. His arms were covered with cuts - raw and deep and angry. His legs were also covered with wounds, but I failed to notice them appearing daily. He would disappear to his room and return with fresh punctures, and I hate myself for not interpreting what was happening. He was crying out for help in the only way he could. Eyes red and raw and hopeless.

When a wound on his arm became infected, he tried to hide it from us at first. When I discovered this I was livid, and laid into him for not coming to me for treatment straight away or at least go to someone. I was angry and hurt and bemused by the whole situation, and that made me lash out at him more forcefully than I had intended.

Lance bore my anger with hunched shoulders, and waited for the tidal wave to end. Then he shrugged, as was his custom now, and shuffled off to his room. For the next two hours I was seething. Hiding an infection from me was really going to make me mad. When Lance emerged from his room, there was a fresh cut on his arm. He seemed at peace somewhat, his face still solemn and worn.

Lance began to spend more time in his room. He wouldn't come join us for meals and we had to take something to him just to make sure he was fed. I pushed buttons so the door would open and I had an evening meal, and discovered him sitting on his bed and twirling his bayard. The weapon fell from his grip when he saw me, startled, and he turned away from me as I put down a tray next to him.

His personal hygiene had gone completely. Coran had to force him into the shower, and the small daily tasks I took for granted like brushing my teeth and general personal care evaporated over time for Lance. We all began to notice him scruffy and smelling bad, but none of us had the time to pry him for the truth. Maybe we were too busy. Or maybe we were afraid it could lead to something that would be hard to deal with.

Whatever the reason, it took one fateful day to finally bring Lance's depression out into the open. The day he finally gave up and looked for a way out, a way to die. He had planned it meticulously so his own body would remain undiscovered thereby eliminating pain to us. He had left a note saying he was leaving for a planet nearby, and would return once he had found peace again.

Keith, Shiro, Hunk and myself didn't even see it coming. The Galra was our main concern, and we hoped Lance would recover and come to his senses. We needed him to be Lance again; spontaneous, strong and loyal to the point of absurdity.

It was Hunk who saved the day. Hunk who had also been quiet during Lance's depression. He had been watching Lance like a hawk, noting everything from the raw wounds on his flesh, to the hopelessness in his eyes. Hunk had seen where this was heading, and had been waiting for the right moment to act. It turned out that Hunk had been aware of the self-harming, and had encouraged Lance to talk to the rest of us about it. Of course, that was something Lance couldn't do.

(A/N — Thank you so much for reading the first part of my fanfic! I really hope you all enjoyed it! I'd appreciate it if you left a comment and a vote! Also, if you saw any mistakes please point them out! Feed back is always good! Thank you and have a good rest of you day!)