Life in Search ✔️

19 ~ Date

I look like shit, maybe that's a sign.

After a night of tossing and turning I can't help but wonder if it's the best decision to go to school today. As if the universe is hearing my thoughts, I get a Snapchat. reading Scarlett's name, I open it, disappointed to find a simple streak picture.

That's it, I'm going to school. The silence is killing me.

Struggling down the stairs, mom offers me a cup of orange juice. "Good morning." I groan in acknowledgement. "I heard footsteps and clattering for a couple hours last night, anything you want to talk about?"

II stop drinking mid gulp, I knew I should've stayed in my room. Especially since she's sick, sleep hasn't been easy for her. I try to avoid her gaze, but she locks eyes with me, and I know I can't get out of this one. "I had a nightmare, it's no biggie."

"Ashton, we have to be careful with these things." She protests, pausing to sneeze, but I wave her off.

I'm not upset or anywhere near how I used to be, it was just because I heard his voice. Which I'm not going to tell her about the phone call either because I need her to stay calm.

"It's the first one in a month, I'm not too worried. I was just really stressed yesterday." And the two nights before that but that's my secret.

She evaluates me as she takes a sip of coffee, using a snotty tissue to wipe up the little mess she made. "And what has you so worked up?"

Well, you see, the thing is, most guys don't have this conversation with their parents. However, I value my freedom and I've already lied too much today. "I'm asking Scarlett out today and I was just worried."

After a moment of silence, she sets the mug down, "Oh, that's a surprise. I figured we still had another month until you went for it."

Fighting the urge to roll my eyes, I grab Ronnie's backpack. Why do I feel like I'm my parents favorite gossip subject? "Don't get too excited, I'll see you when I get home. Feel better."

And with that I run from the house.

*****

"Ashton, my guy, are you ready?" Zev asks, grabbing my shoulders before I'm even fully out of the car.

"Nope, but at this point, who cares." I declare. I'm Ashton McClain, and I'm going to ask a girl out. The reality of those words still haven't hit yet but I'm getting there.

Gabe gives me a once over, "You look rough." Glancing down at myself I can't help but agree. My shirt's wrinkled and there's a hole in my jeans. "But that's okay. Just remember, smile, compliment her, and follow our plan."

Right, the plan. Say hello, pull her aside, ask her out, don't be weird, don't say anything stupid. Easy stuff.

The steps repeat in my mind as I walk into school, finding my friends at the other end of the hall where they usually are. Scarlett seems agitated, holding her arm as Ella and Stella squeal, the latter for once not looking like she's ready to fight.

Great, the girl I want to ask out looks like she could kill someone. That's cool.  

Leaning against Scarlett's locker, I fight the urge to touch her sweater, it looks soft. Wait, what's step one– say hi. "Hey, guys."

"Hi." She offers softly, glancing up at my face before looking away. That's not very encouraging, maybe she really was just ignoring me.