Life in Search ✔️

Bonus ~ Always

I'm not going to mess this day up.

I will do everything in my power to make today as easy as possible for them. There will not be a repeat of last year.

Parking in the driveway, I grab Ronnie's hand. "Listen, Munchkin, Saffron wanted you here but you have to understand, she's not going to be very happy."

A part of me still feels that it's a mistake to bring her but Scarlett insisted that if everyone else has friends here, then she should too. Ronnie nods, her usual smile gone from her face.

Walking up to the door, I knock, preparing myself for whoever opens it to be a mess. Ella's pale frame appears, her eyes already red from crying. "Hey."

I try to smile, "How are they?"

"We're here this year and they're actually talking to us." She offers.

Progress.

Wandering into the kitchen, I set some of the food I brought down for later before wandering the house with the doughnuts, coffee, and juice I bought. They need to eat.

I find the twins first, in the basement with Connor and Sam, just staring at the blank TV. "I have food."

Usually that line has them running, knocking me on my ass as they pig out. Today they don't even budge.

Taking a seat between them, I drop a doughnut onto both of their legs before throwing my arms around them. They hug me and I can feel warm liquid sleeping into my shirt, but I don't say anything.

"Do you want to talk?"

Both heads shake no so I sit there and let them have their time. They need this.

Silver's stomach growls after I don't even know how long.

"Look, dude, you better eat before your sister hears that sound and force feeds you." I say without thinking, I shut my mouth so fast my teeth hurt.

Sometimes it's better to just shut up, Ashton.

Silver pulls away, wiping his nose as he picks up his doughnut. "You're right, I still need to take my meds."

Oh my God.

Running upstairs, I grab his pills along with some ibuprofen before hurrying back. Handing them to him, I toss the ibuprofen to Sterling, "You'll get a headache."

Once I make sure there's nothing else they've forgotten to do, I head for the stairs.

"Hey, Ash." Sterling calls, I stop. "Thanks."

"Of course."

Sage is in his room, hugging Ella as his shoulders shake when I open the door. "I can come back."

He jumps up, trying to hide the fact he was crying. Ella goes for the door, offering a weak smile as she passes me.

"Scar's upstairs." He offers, his voice weak.

"Bro, I've seen you cry, don't be stupid." I say point blank, he doesn't get to be stubborn right now.

His facade crumbles, "I'm... I know."

He collapses back on the bed and I join him, offering a doughnut and an iced caramel coffee, his favorite. To my surprise, he eats without being forced.

Maybe he's doing better than I thought.

"This is my favorite doughnut, but it has no taste." He offers.

I just sit there, unsure of what to say. I've dealt with grief but it's not the same.

"I don't know what it is about today, but it fucking sucks."