𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 → the society

→1.07←

June's leg hopped nervously as she listened to Helena preach. She wasn't sure why the church had such an effect on her. It wasn't like there was an actual priest preaching, and Helena seemed to be just as uneasy as she was. Still, her nerves got the best of her as her mind raced.

"You okay?" Elle whispered, eyeing the girl's knee with concern.

"Yeah, fine," June forced a smile onto her lips and slapped her hand down onto her leg, forcing it to calm. Elle kept her eye focused on the girl's leg for a few moments longer, as if she didn't believe her, before finally conceding and tuning back in to Helena's sermon.

June began to realize that the thought of her mom is what made her so uncomfortable in the church. Her parents had never been super religious, but they did believe in God, and they did try to go to church when they could. And, if it were all real, and her mom was up in some kind of heaven, that most likely meant she wouldn't ever see her again. Simply because who she was, and what she couldn't control.

As Helena stammered up at the front, looking to the room as she paused, June found herself calming slightly. Helena wasn't preaching for the purpose of shaming people or yelling about sins, but rather to instill hope in people. Her message was meant to be positive and filled with light when they needed it, and that made June feel better.

From behind her, she heard the heavy church doors open and then close, and looked back over her shoulder to see Cassandra coming in. The girl looked uneasy, almost as uneasy as June, as she stood in the book of the room with her back against the wall. June shot the girl a small smile when they made eye contact before turning back around to face the front. 

Her eye was caught by Elle's phone screen lighting up beside her. She wasn't someone to invade other's privacy, and didn't really care much about whatever notification she was getting, but her attention was still pulled in that direction when she read 'Campbell' in her periphery. He had sent her four texts, and instead of opening or responding to them the girl quickly locked her phone. 

Suddenly, a pit was in June's stomach as she wondered what was she even doing there? She followed a most likely straight girl into a church, nearly giving herself a panic attack, and for what? Her leg began to hop nervously again, and as a boy on her right stood and left she was tempted to follow. But, then she'd have to squeeze passed Elle and the girl might question her, so instead she just silently suffered through it.

She found herself wondering what the beautiful blond ballerina saw in the crazed boy. Just days before he had pointed a gun in Cassandra's chest in that same church Elle and she wasn't responding, but she knew better. The girl was outcasted and lonely, and if asking June, a girl she doesn't even know, to hang out said anything, it was clear she was desperate for company. And June couldn't really fault her for that, seeing as everyone copes differently.

Not long after, Cassandra left and the guard arrived. Helena seemed to relax at the sight of Luke, and her sermon actually ended on somewhat of a good note for June. Elle stood and seemed to pause, as if waiting to see if anyone would try to talk to her, before both girls exited the church. They were silent for a few moments, before Elle decided to speak.

"So... What did you think?"

"It was... okay," June offered, trying her best to sound optimistic. "I respect what Helena was trying to do, and I mean I think she did have a good message, I just think that's not the kind of thing that makes me feel better."

Elle simply nodded and looked away, focusing her eyes on her feet as they walked. June felt a weird sense of guilt for what she had said, and she wasn't sure why. She didn't want Elle to think she hated it or she felt dragged along, it just simply wasn't her thing. Everyone had different modes of coping, and church definitely wasn't June's.