Aster Petals

✽ ten ✽

"Do you have to go, hyung?"

He didn't understand why Namjoon was suddenly acting like this. Like he desperately did not want him to leave.

"Namjoon, I've already told you. I have to go back to Australia."

Seokjin quickens his walking pace as he tries to get away from him. But the latter would catch up, persistent to not leave his side. "But you will come back, right? Please tell me you will."

"Namjoon I've told you already." Seokjin stops his tracks and faces him. On his face was an expression that hinted annoyance, and Namjoon could see this clearly causing a frown to form on his lips. "I live in Australia now so there is no point of me staying here." His voice was rather louder than intended, but it was enough to convey the message of how annoyed he was.

"But Jin hyung, you don't have to stay there anymore." Namjoon tried to persuade, "your life there isn't as good as you say so what is the point of staying?"

"Why do you care about where I stay?"

"It's because I care about you."

They could go round and round all day, but Seokjin found that last sentence funny, even if his expression said otherwise. It felt like a joke which he once believed to be true. He didn't know what to say about it, causing an awkward silence between the two. Should he laugh? But it was meant to be serious, at least to Namjoon. Say something? He didn't know what to say.

Instead, he stuck to his decision of saying nothing. There was honesty on Namjoon's face which he doesn't believe to genuine. This leaves the brunet to sigh through his nose and to walk away again. 

"Hyung wait!" The taller male ran to him, chasing him all over again with full determination. "You don't have to leave. Please stay here⁠—"

"Why do you want me to stay??" Truthfully, saying those words hurt Seokjin a lot. It was no lie that that single question triggered more of the tears he had tried to hold back. The funeral was over, the day was almost over, so he needed to cry no more. But here he was, standing directly across Namjoon, once again holding back the tears that had built up.

Namjoon doesn't reply. His mouth has gaped and his lips quivered. It seemed like he had wanted to say something, but nothing came out. Seokjin stifled a groan, "look you can't even answer me." Seokjin was angry, he was evidently furious. But he was uncertain as to why he was acting as such. Now this anger he had, he was releasing it at Namjoon when he had done nothing other than to be persuasive.

He just wanted to go home. Lie down on his bed and rest. But the stinging pain of the disease disrupts the wonderful idea of Seokjin's peace and relaxation.

"No hyung, i-it's not that..." Namjoon stuttered, unable to hide the fact that he was nervous. Seokjin waited for him to continue his sentence, crossing his arms and staring at him with his brows raised. The younger swallowed the lump in his throat, pursing his lips afterward.

"Then what is it?"

"I just..." Namjoon lowered his head and sheepishly scratched the back of his neck, avoiding his gaze. "I just don't want you to leave."

It was a wall of silence that fell in between them. Namjoon stood there, still afraid to look up to his hyung. Eventually, however, he lifted his head, meeting his gaze. The brunet's eyes, from what he could describe, he could see this fragile glass that shattered inside of him. Those eyes of his glistened from the layer of tears that coated his orbs.

The stares they had, damaged both of their hearts.

"Why didn't you tell me this before then?" Seokjin's voice was brittle. Despite his attempt to hide it, he couldn't. His throat twisted and his heart had weighed. This scenario, whatever was happening between them, it felt like the day when he was about to leave.