Aster Petals

❀ five ❀

The man who he had been looking for was standing before him.

Seokjin was like a god, he who Namjoon wanted to kneel before his presence and apologize for everything.

The last time he had seen him, his hair was black. But now, it was a shade of brown. He wasn't complaining. Moreover, he was falling for him all over again.

The last time he had seen him, Namjoon felt nothing for him.

This time, Namjoon felt everything for him.

He wanted to break into tears. He wanted to run up to his best friend and pull him into a tight and bone-crushing embrace, but he didn't do that. It was probably too early to get close to him after what seemed like forever. What if Seokjin would be uncomfortable with a sudden embrace? Especially after Namjoon had rejected him? He didn't want things to get awkward between them so he decided to take things slow.

He got up on his feet and took a few small and low steps towards the rest of his friends. Before Yoongi and Seokjin's conversation finished, Namjoon inhaled sharply through his nose.

Hiding his nervousness, his sadness, and every other emotion he felt which he didn't need right now, he placed on a smile. Even the sheer bliss, he hid behind that bland smile of his.

"Hey, Jin hyung." He breathed out.

Seokjin turned his head towards Namjoon, locking gazes with him. For the first time in more than three years, Namjoon could feel the presence of his best friend. He could feel the same aura of the man whom he had missed for so long. As if he had found the missing piece of his thousand-pieced jigsaw puzzle.

"Namjoon."

The atmosphere that had surrounded them was quite awkward. They stared at each other, uncertain if they were feeling the same emotions or different ones. They exchanged indifferent gazes, Seokjin's expression was unreadable to Namjoon. He wasn't sure if he was happy to see him but at least, he hoped he was.

Namjoon walked up to him with low footsteps, pulling his friend into a hug. He tried his best not to hug him even tighter. The desire to do so was strong, but he fought it back and remained the hug to be warm and simple.

Seokjin hugged him back, much to Namjoon's relief. The hug was easing, just like what Namjoon had wanted. He missed him so much, his yearning for him had finally lessened since now, he was with him.

He was finally here with him.

He pulled away and smiled at Seokjin. It was supposed to be a comforting smile, but because of the sea of tears he had tried to hold back, it ended up being a little forced.

Seokjin's beautiful. He's just so fucking beautiful, how did this guy ever fall in love with him?

Having nothing else to say, Hoseok decided to speak up. Once again, he reiterated the room assignments and what would happen in the following days. "...Jungkook and Taehyung will be staying in room 77 while Seokjin hyung and Namjoon will be staying in room 78."

Right, they would be sleeping together.

"Jimin's funeral will be, in a few days." It was hard for Hoseok to say those words. It was hard to not feel guilty about the situation.

There was a sniffle that disturbed the quiet atmosphere. They looked around to see who was about to cry, they found it out to be Yoongi. It wasn't surprising but it did bring Namjoon sympathy towards him.

He was sympathetic towards him knowing that Yoongi had to carry this burden on his back. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't put himself in Yoongi's shoes since he didn't know what the other was feeling. He couldn't tell what was going on inside his mind other than the immense guilt that he had for losing his best friend.