There Will Be Freedom

5. Paper Promises

Maddie's POV

I paced the floor in the bathroom and tried not to think negatively, but I had so many things going through my brain that I was starting to get a headache.

We have to go home?

What was home? Our home was here, on this island, with Justin and Jaxon. I didn't know how to live in the real world anymore. It seemed too big after being in the freedom of this place.

Everything had unraveled in a matter of hours.

It was the first time I had put a bullet through a real person, and it was... strange. Shouldn't I have felt some kind of remorse or regret? That's what scared me the most. I didn't feel anything. I had just potentially killed a man and instead of reacting, my body went numb. I was more scared for myself and what that meant. I might need to see a therapist or something.

And then there was a phone call; something so small that changed everything and I wasn't expecting it at all—none of us were.

Of course we had to leave; I knew that much. But going home, back to Chicago? Maybe to some foreign Asian country or a mountainous region where no one could find us. But Chicago? That never crossed my mind as an option. I didn't even think that was a possibility for another decade or so, and I had made peace with that. Now I didn't know what to do.

But before we even touch down at O'Hare, there was business to take care of in Italy. Nicola was dead. It was peculiar to say that out loud, but it was true. He was murdered. Justin and I hadn't talked about it yet. He had been sitting in the library all day, and I didn't dare bother him.

Everyone was going to be at that funeral; Olivia, Bridget, Keegan, Finn, Jeremy, Pattie. What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to act? Plus, I was going to have to contact my parents. Freddie was probably going to kill me and Rebecca would just scream at me until she was blue in the face. Nothing good could come of it.

I was more worried about how Justin was going to take this sudden thrust back into the new world. He had a better life here. He was calm and healthy and... alive.

Jaxon stumbled into the bathroom, having to climb over a broken dresser that was still covering the door. I didn't bother cleaning anything up in the house. We were leaving and there wasn't any point. Justin said that Jeremy was having people sterilize the place once we left.

"I hate this shit." He kicked the wall. "I'm not going back."

"Yes, you are," I said strongly.

"No, I'm staying my ass right here and I'm going to go to college here and I'm going to..."

"It's not like you have a choice," I interrupted him. "You can't stay here by yourself."

"So, you want to go home?"

"Sure, it would be great to stay here another couple of years, but we knew this was going to happen." I realized that my dialogue was completely opposite from my thoughts, but I was trying not to show it.

"There's nothing for us back in Chicago." He jumped up on the counter. "What are we supposed to do there?"

"I don't know. Jeremy will figure it out." I started throwing things away in the bathroom just for something to do. We couldn't take much with us, and there were only a couple of things that were of sentimental value anyway.

"And what about you? What are you going to do?"

"I'm going with Justin."

"I know that, but what's back in Chicago for you? Don't you want to go back to Thorp?"