Memory loss (swasan)✅

Part-10 (Thoughts)

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Recap :-Sanskar telling the truth to Swara and making her remember their previous moments .Swara asked to start a fresh .

Today's part :-
Sanskar went to his room saying some excuse to Swara . He is in deep thoughts.
Sanskar pov :
I was so much busy in my anger that I was not able to see my love getting hurt .
Inner voice : did you ever loved her??
Sanskar : yes I do .
Inner voice : I don't think so if you love her then why you behaved like that with her ??
Sanskar : like what ?
Inner voice : Mainly hurting her by not talking with her , ignoring her , making her obey that stupid rules . All this things affected her so badly .
Sanskar : I know I hurt her but I never wanted all this to happen .
Inner voice : oh so ,why were you doing all this ??You want something else ?? Then what did you exactly wanted ??
Sanskar : I don't know . But , my intention was not to hurt her . I was angry and that anger took control over me and I was unable to think straight . You know I have this problem . I was not able to think anything .
Inner voice : Hold on , the great SM who is known for planning and execution who never take any decision without planning did so much and that too everything wrong with the one whom he loved the most . Why ?? Where did your thinking went ??
Sanskar : sometimes the one whom we love the most we hurt that person the most . This happen in my case also . I never thought from her point of view . I was never interested in knowing her side of story and was believing only the one side I know . The side which was not true also . I never thought about anyone in this months . I was captured by my own self . I cutoff all the ties with outer world for whole one month and you know it very well . I was in depression and when I recovered from it I got most shocking thing or you can say experience . The day I freed myself from this boundaries I bumped into someone and that someone was my life , my love but , the thing affected me was she was pregnant and I know the baby is our and she bumped into me the only thought that she is not able to take care of babies take me here . So many possibilities  came up .what if something happen to them and that moment again anger got into me and I feel that feeling the feeling of love once again in that 2 months . But I was afraid what if again she betrayed me ; what if she again left me alone ; what if I was thrown in that darkness all over again from where it take me 2 months to be here this place where I am still struggling to completely come out of it .I don't want to go to went to that place again from where I will never be able to come out .That depression ,that hatred, that voices they will take me again to that darkness  where I don't want to go now . So I thought to avoid her but my babies I can't leave them . I want them to live. I want them for my happiness. So, I decided to take her here . But again she said she lost her memory I wanted to believe her but my mind never let me do . I was in a situation that trusting anyone was not my thing . I want to give her a chance but on the other side I don't want that feeling that I had experienced two times to come up again . I don't want her to cross that boundary all over again . I don't want her to melt me all over again . I don't want her to be in my heart again. I never considered the memory loss thing as truth but when I found all that true i am guilty may be guilt is also a small word to explain my emotions . I was afraid what if all things happen all over again that's why I closed all the things to reach my heart by not seeing her , thinking about her , ignoring her , not interfering in her life as she wanted I did that but I was unknown to the fact that she had lost her memory .
Inner voice : But in your fear you hurt the innocent soul so much . You make her someone that she was never.
Sanskar : and now I will improve my mistake not mistake my sin of hurting her . I will do every possible thing to get her back  get my Swara back .
Pov end .

After getting ready he went to swara's room and see her sitting on the bed in some thoughts .sanskar thought she is again lost in her thoughts and it's not good for her and babies. I have to do something .
Sanskar : Swara what are you doing ?
Swara : Nothing , I was just thinking how all the things changed so much means in a day so much happened our status , our relation and you also .
Sanskar : Don't think so much it's not good for your health na . If you want anything you can tell me .
Swara : I will ask you don't worry . By the Sanskar (she looked at him ) I can call you Sanskar na ?
Sanskar : yes .
Swara : so Sanskar I want to ask who arranged so many toys and this wall decor in my room ?
Sanskar : whom do you think ?
Swara : firstly I thought may be bhai and bhabhi but then they didn't came also and you also changed so much so I am thinking may be you .I am right ?
Sanskar just nodded .
Swara : if you are so good then why were you behaving so bad ?
Sanskar didn't said anything and just looked down .
Swara : I am sorry if I hurt you .
Sanskar : no nothing like that actually I am guilty on my doings. I am really sorry Swara I know I hurt you very much and that too without any reason . I am really sorry but now I will improve my mistakes .
Swara : ok but what you are going to do .
Sanskar : come I will tell you .
Swara : ok
Sanskar take her towards the car . Swara started seeing here and there but she didn't find the thing or the person she was trying to find .
Sanskar: what are you finding ?
Swara: I am looking for the driver and maid . Where are they ??
Sanskar : but why you are looking for them ?
Swara : whenever I go somewhere they both always go with me or one of them . So I am finding them . Where are they ??

Sanskar felt guilty . Every thing he had done have showing a result now . Whatever he want to do again and again his doings came in front of him . How much he want to correct his mistakes but again that are coming in front of him . He did so much things with her that now getting everything back to normal will not be easy . It's going to be a difficult one but he is ready to cross any difficulty for his Swara . Whom he hurt so much .
Sanskar : they are not coming with us.
Swara : but why ?
Sanskar : because we both are going alone .
Swara : you are going with me ?(shocked )
Sanskar : why are you giving this reaction ?
Swara : actually we never went out together na .
Sanskar : we went .
Swara : when ??
Sanskar don't remember any day or time he take Swara with him . Leave alone he never company her with anyone also .
Sanskar: now .lets make new memories of this new start .
Swara : ok let's start .
And they both sit in car and started their journey .

Every thing he do to make her happy make him remember how hurt she is .Now what will Sanskar have to do to make Swara forgot all this months ?? Will Sanskar get his previous Swara back ?

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