Forbidden love (FrUK)

Chapter four

~Arthur POV ~
"Every time I think of my time with you, I miss it so. To always wonder if I would ever have that chance to express this dying love for you, mon amour. If I would ever be able to gaze upon your beautiful green eyes day in and day out. To be able to kiss your sweet lips and see you smile every day of my life is a wish I want so badly to be granted. Because I wonder if I would ever be able to express such affection for you."

Reading the letters made me confused, how and why did he feel such a way? My cheeks blushed from the surprise at the sudden love letters I was actually reading. I looked through the bulk of letters and tried to find the very first one he sent. The first one he sent to me those years ago of not replying.
I finally found the oldest one and opened it quickly, yet it was not a love letter. I started to put the letters in order, to find where they started. Luckily I found out quickly. The third letter was sent a month after not responding to the first two.

"Dear Arthur,
I can not hide this feeling any longer. You have not responded after such a long time and it is killing me slowly to not hear from you. I would like to confess my feelings to you, my dear Arthur. I have loved you for quite some time. Day after day, these feelings grow stronger, yet our relationship grows apart. I wonder if you have ever felt the thrill of admiring another. To feel love so deeply for someone else. I wonder if I would possibly be that person which you admire, yet that would not be likely considering the frowned upon society in which we live in that forbids a love such as this. A love like this that I would risk anything for if that meant I would be able to lay a rest with you, my love, for the rest of our days."

I finished reading the letter and felt a tug at my heart. I had no idea he was feeling this way; if only I knew...I could have answered. Yet, he is correct; if anyone found out his feelings for me, he or both of us could be sentenced to death. That is not a future I would want for either of us. Yet... I could not help the tug of my heart to continue reading the letters, every single one of them. I opened the next one and started to read it. And then another one, then another. Letter after letter, I read, and I understood his feelings. I had never had anyone say these things to me, let alone write them.

As I thought back to the days when we were younger, I remember a moment ....A moment I so badly tried to forget. Yet now, I wish I had not tried to forget so badly. Even at a young age, I felt this familiar tug at my heart, yet I tried to ignore it continuously, just like I will do now. I can not have myself feeding into this inappropriate emotion, especially if it could have us sentenced to death. Before I realized it, morning had come, and I had not slept. The door to my study suddenly opened, causing me to grab all the letters and shove them into my desk drawer.
"Sir Arthur, your breakfast is ready, your majesty?" The maid asked, questioning my sudden noise of slamming.

"Yes?" I smiled.
"Have you not slept?"
"No...I uh... had to get some stuff done," I lied.
"Very well then, I have given your breakfast and tea. Also, Sir Francis has requested to be in your presence for this afternoon," she added, pouring tea for me.
"Ah, very well, I will be available for that," I smiled and started to sip the tea. The maid smiled at me and nodded, soon leaving. I rubbed my eyes and walked back to my quarters, letters in a box so that I could hide them. And so I could change and shower out of the previous day's clothes.

I walked back to my study to eat breakfast, which I forgot to do first. During this time, I thought deeply of the letters that were sent to me by Sir Francis. Remembering the detail and heart, he poured into the letter.

"The chance to spend the rest of my days with you would be a dream come true..."

"Your hair shines in the sunlight and makes me smile in the warmth of its beautiful presence ..."

"Standing in your presence makes my heart beat of joy and happiness and I want to always be by you as much as I can...."

His words lingered in my thoughts and mind. I could not forget the delicately written words he gave to me. I have no idea how I will approach him later today. Although he thinks I have not read the letters, it is probably best that he still thinks this. He might get ideas or demand answers from me. Yet, would it be so bad that he knew that I knew? What would be the harm in that? No one else would know except for us. That itself is a risk, yet it is a risk I am willing to take to be able to understand more of his feelings for me. I finished my breakfast and started to clean up my study.

"I can not have this place a mess for when he comes later," I said. I suddenly realized what I was doing.
"Wait...wait, Arthur! Wake up, not only do you have maids for this, but you should not be worried about appearances for him..." I said to myself and slapped my forehead.
"It will not kill me to clean up a bit," I added and started to continue to clean my mess.

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Thank you for reading so far!!!! More to come