Bully This

Mr. Davidson's Predicament Part 1

As he surveyed the class, there he was sitting in the fourth row, third seat to the left.  All he wanted to do, was tell him he wanted him, regardless of age, he wanted him bad.  He often fantasized about Avery being his boy toy.  He wondered if he knew,  he was caught staring in his direction a few times.  Avery or A.V.  as his classmates called him had a slight build with brown hair, it was his green eyes that left Mr. Davidson mesmerized.  In fact his only experience with a Latin man was a very younger Latin man with green eyes and dirty blond hair.  During his European vacation he mingled with all shades of men but there was nothing like his Latin lover.  Those two days they shared left him with a lifetime of memories and a lust for more.  It wasn't till recently that all those memories and the lust return, when Avery was transferred to his class.  Now he couldn't stop thinking about him.  He understood his career would be ruined, a gay high school teacher had to be "normal", and even with same sex marriage becoming common, he knew any actions with a student are unacceptable.  He could see the headlines and tabloids now.  "GAY HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER CAUGHT IN A TRYST WITH A MALE STUDENT." 

He always envisioned himself coming out and being accepted, but what he really longed for, was to be celebrated for all of the adversity he endured, the living in fear, living a lie, not being who he really was.  Even in 2017 being gay wasn't fully embraced by society and one would often hear of random hate crimes being committed.  The constant bullying and taunting had left scars that no one could see, and left wounds that would not heal.  The bell ringing snapped him back into reality.  He uttered to class, "you're dismissed, see you tomorrow."  He fought the urge to try and get A.V.'s attention. What really stopped him was that it would look awkward without a legitimate reason to pull him to the side.  "Till tomorrow my sexy Latin love" he thought to himself as the students exited the classroom. 

Avery was running late for basketball practice, "I'll see you guys later, I gotta go to practice before coach makes me run extra suicides." They performed their handshakes and went their separate ways.  He was in an open competition for the small forward spot, coach told him directly they he had the inside track to start, but he had to maintain at least a B average throughout the school year.  Avery was determined to become a starter, even if it meant extra studying or being tutored, he would do what it takes.  He once overheard Mr. Davidson offer his services to the captain of the swimming team, so he knew where to go for the extra help. For right now though it was suicide and other basketball drills for the next hour.  After practice coach summoned Avery to his office. "Have a seat.  Right here is your progress report, failing any classes gets you kicked off the team.  I've set up an appointment with the tutors, your grade level has to meet the expectations or else Avery.  Shower up and we will continue this conversation tomorrow after practice." 

He kept hearing coaches words over and over in his head, there was no way he was getting thrown off the team.  If he needed to be tutored then tutoring it was.  His father knew something was wrong with Avery.  "A are you alright?  You seem distracted you haven't touched your plate, it's been in front of you for a couple of minutes now."  Yeah Dad I'm good just thinking about this test we have coming up."  "A, remember once you think long, you think wrong." 

While going over his students' homework he casually sipped some wine.  Toni Braxton played in the background, this was a typical night for him.  It had been a couple of days and he still hadn't heard from Juan Carlos, a sexy Latin he had come across on the dating website he frequently visited.  The message was seen but no response.  Fredrick or Freddy as family and colleagues called him, fought the urge to send a second message.  He slammed his highlighter in frustration and struggled to keep his paperwork in order.  Gathering them all up, he comes across Avery's homework, handsome kid but not too bright he thought to himself.  "Man I would love to play you one on one winner takes all." he laughed and took a sip of his wine.  There had been many stories of teachers and students being romantically involved, some arrests as well, but a gay teacher and a male student was a scandal and a career killer.  Having an affair with a minor scared and excited him at the same time.

The thought of manipulating and exploiting a younger man, sent jolts through his body, but how could he pull that off without alarming anyone in the school.  He could see himself being escorted from the school in handcuffs with the whole school pointing and laughing at him.  When he was younger he was often harassed and bullied for being different, growing up gay was like being a criminal, you were labeled as a weirdo, a sinner, a freak.  The verbal abuse was just as bad as the physical abuse he endured during his high school days.  Constantly being bullied left him bitter.  There were days he felt like the devil was playing with him, nothing but evil thoughts running through his mind, fighting the urge to not throw himself or someone in front of a moving car.  Anxiety and depression took over, leading him to drop out of school and pursue his G.E.D. instead.  It was there that he discovered the passion to become a teacher.  He often compared a brain to a sponge, telling his students to soak it all up.  Knowledge is power.  The ability to communicate and to breakdown discussions and situations, were the making of a leader.  Who better to lead than a teacher. 

Going away to college was the best decision he ever made, it allowed him to be himself.  Being comfortable enough to be who he was.  A young homosexual wasn't uncommon but it wasn't embraced by society.  So before he committed to any university he researched the community, it's diversity.  He chose a small college in southern California, it was so small that there was no campus.  To his delight, there was a large gay population so he knew he would blend right in.  Living in a place where he was accepted made him feel so liberated. 

Freddy was already becoming popular in school, his carefree, yet considerate ways were welcomed with open arms.  He made friends immediately and soon he had two roommates and a job as well.  The people were so different than people back home.  Gone were the stares and dirty looks, he was often greeted politely and the atmosphere was totally different, no animosity among his neighbors. Being at the school was like a dream he didn't want to wake up from.  Soon he was romantically involved with an Asian from his school, they clicked immediately.  The affair ended in heartache once Dustin had accepted an internship at one of New York's hospitals, he was studying to become a doctor. Freddy's heartbreak could not  stand in the way of Dustin accomplishing his dreams.  They stood in contact through emails and phone conversations but it was never the same.  Little by little they drifted apart, the time zone and their schedules made it impossible to interact so they both agreed it was better to go their separate ways.  Between school and work he had no time to dwell on his misfortune.  His life was consumed by studying and work occupied his idle time so his personal life had been put on a shelf until further notice. 

Like his mother would always say "there's a place and a time for everything" he accepted and lived by her advice.  That same advice would be used regularly for the next couple of years while graduating from college and in his first position as a teacher's assistant.  His communication skills set him apart immediately, he encouraged his students to be themselves and motivated them to reach heights they'd never dream of.  He started an after school tutoring program for all students.  His popularity grew with some of his peers as well.  The math teacher Mrs. Harris or Clarissa as she instructed him to call her, grew quite fond of him. 

They would often go through their assignments together and would brainstorm new ideas on how to keep the students entertained and involved in their work.  His work ethic and the dedication he showed, earned him teacher of the month.  His tutoring program was a success, students filled the library everyday eager to learn.  God has a calling for everyone, his calling was to become a History teacher!  He knew he was far from perfect and wondered if he would be accepted and embraced if they knew he was a gay.  The thought of what could happen lead Freddy to continue to live his life in the dark or in the closet as it was always referred to. Fear overruled his desires, for now.