Until we meet again...

Chapter 23

As we arrived to the hospital, Sarah was talking to the doctor who left before we could join them.

“Hey.” Sarah said as she saw us.

“Hey, what happened?” I asked, still worried.

“She passed out when we arrived to the hotel. The doctor said it’s probably because she didn’t eat well today.” She explained.

“And how is she now?”

“She’s okay. She woke up. He said we can take her home. All she needs is to sleep well, and she’ll be fine.”

“Oh, that’s good to know. Can we see her?”

“Yeah, let’s come inside.”

“Lena, how do you feel now?” I asked, as we got in.

“I’m fine now.” She answered.

“Good! I was worried.” I added.

“No need. It wasn’t a big deal…Can we leave the hospital now? I don’t want to spend the night here.” She requested.

“Yeah, I’ll grab your stuff, and we’ll leave.” Sarah responded.

Ethan offered to take us back to the hotel. In the car, the silence prevailed till we got there. Once we arrived, Sarah took Lena inside after she thanked Ethan leaving me alone with him at the hotel’s entry.

“Thank you again…for all this.” I said.

“I did nothing.” He smiled, then added, “Well, I’d like to go back to what we were saying before…”

“Ah, I told you, forget about everything I said. Sometimes, I don’t really know what I’m saying.” I interrupted him, trying to avoid going back to that conversation.

“No, I’m serious. It’s…”

“Look, it’s been a long day, and I’m really feeling tired right now. We can talk about this later.” I said.

“Alright then.” He replied, even though he seemed to have more to say. “I’ll call you.”

“Okay, good night Ethan.”

“Good night. Sleep well.” He said back. Then I got in.

 I couldn’t sleep that night. I felt strange. I felt both regretful and a little relieved. Regretful, because maybe I shouldn’t have said what I said.

What will happen now? I guess I made it clear that I have feelings for him. And I hate the fact that I did. What will he think of me now? One of those sad little girls that are desperately in love with him, and towards whom he doesn’t have any pit of mutual feeling? No, I can’t allow this. I’d rather keep this for myself and never let him know, than make him feel pity for me. I can’t do this to myself. This is not me, I don’t do anything that would underestimate me. My pride and my ego can’t let that happen.

But then, I felt also relieved, relieved from those what ifs, should haves, and why not’s.

And so what? So what if he knows? It’s not going to be the end of the world after all. I can deal with this. I can deal with it in the most maturely way. But then, what if there’s a chance? What if he can have feelings for me too? Wouldn’t that be awesome? ... Ah, my happy ending. I smiled at the thought. Yeah, but that’s too good to be true. I sighed, and buried my face in my pillow trying to get rid of all these thoughts haunting me.