High school: Auggie x Jack Will

Guilt

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Auggie's POV

In the moment, the one where I saw Jack and Summer doing coupley things in the hallway, I was in shock. The kind of shock that just consumes you, but only for a moment, because it's in response to something you somehow knew would happen, whether it was just subconscious and something you weren't aware of, and seeing it in front of you made things make sense, or something you knew would happen but just didn't want. In this case, I couldn't tell which one it was for sure.

They looked happy. I always thought they made great friends, and that they'd be better if they remained that way, but they're that type of people that are very different, the kind perfect for being in a couple, I guess. Not to the point of mutual despise as a result. No. They're different in the ways that perfectly compliment each other. Summer's confidence, yet self awareness, and Jack. Jack's harder to describe, because I know how strong he is, but sometimes he makes it seem like he's the straight out opposite. He's been through a lot, mostly because he's chosen to deal with me for this long, and despite his timidity I know he's one of the strongest people I know. I guess these differences are the kind perfect for relationships. Not something I could've predicted, but it makes sense. And I'm happy that both of them finally have something that sort of makes sense in their lives.

Jack's POV

For what felt like the first time since Friday, I had slept over Summer's from after school to around noon on Saturday, leaving us separated Sunday and me bored and with no plans for a day, Summer and I had to separate. I still felt no romantic rush for her despite us 'dating' now, which honestly I wish I did, it would make everything easier. I almost felt bad, or I did, actually, but knowing that she knew the real reason we were doing this, so that I could ditch her and get with Auggie (it really does sound horrible), I felt a slight sense of what my brain was trying to tell me was relief, when really it was something far more complex than that. I love Summer, and what we got ourselves into feels so wrong. Although it wasn't even my idea, I'm disgusted for going along with it. Summer's a person too, and this just wasn't fair. Sometimes she's too nice. Where does that leave me? It wasn't an unusual feeling, but I felt like a perpetrator for a very serious crime, and the familiar stampede of self hate began crushing whatever relief I thought I was feeling at first. And fast.

Fake relief it was, yes, but that wasn't the only reason the whole scheme was beginning to make me sick to my stomach. It's Auggie, too. He didn't seem bothered at all. He seemed happy for us, like he always knew we would eventually get together like it was his plan. The word that comes to mind to describe this whole thing is unsettling, but that's just a mask my stupid human emotion complex put over what was really there, which I couldn't figure out.

I still lusted over Auggie, still thought of him every spare thought I had, and even mixed into the ones totally unrelated. Seeing Auggie so in favor of this change was when reality really hit for one of the first times. And it was beyond scary.

I realized that whatever this was, the thing with Summer, to Auggie was closing some sort of window of possibility that I couldn't tell was there for sure. It's possible that Auggie could have a thing for me, whether it's already or something he could develop in the future, and I may have just ruined it by fake dating my best friend. The other best friend. The wrong best friend. And I may have ruined it for good.

I knew I had to talk to Summer about this. She wasn't visibly showing it in any way, but I find it hard to believe that she wasn't even in the slightest uncomfortable with everything we were doing, and could tell it wasn't going to work. Summer's one to be honest, like all the time, but their are exceptions, and one of them is if it means the world to one of her friends. I think she could tell that I no longer liked the idea, despite it only being in action for around a half an hour, and admitting it to her was something that terrified me. She doesn't deserve this. But losing my already slim chances with Auggie seemed life or death to me, and without this confession I was on the fast lane to this metaphorical death and it was inevitable. We couldn't go on like this. Not if I wanted a chance with the person I really loved.

So I made a plan to talk to Summer fourth period, a class among the few we actually had together, health. I don't understand why they're making us take it so early on in our high school careers. I thought it was more of a sophomore thing, but I guess for whatever reason they felt our school needed to be prepared early. Prepared early for the stuff I was sure I wasn't going to experience in the case of us not stopping this whole thing, and soon.

For now, I had to deal with Math, and all I could think of, besides Auggie lingering in there too, which I had been getting used to and was far from being opposed to, was Summer, who was likely just as worried in her class as well.

I chose the first desk I saw, the very corner seat against the wall in the very back of the room, and dug into my backpack for a pencil and notebook, doing so as a way of avoiding contact with anyone rather than out of need; Via has apparently had this teacher and said her class was chill.

I looked up, and saw a tall guy with brown scruffy hair and what looked like blue eyes, but I wasn't too sure because I barely got a look at him. His eyes met mine, and he gave a general smirk that could've meant anything. That's another thing I'm bad at. If someone was indicating that they wanted to murder me, I wouldn't know, to me I might even think they were just being friendly. Social cues are just hard, and I have yet to figure out if that was a strictly me thing or something for everyone. Probably just a me thing. Gross.

The boy I didn't recognize, after breaking our awkward eye contact, eventually chose a place to sit down. Right in the desk next to mine. He looked over again, as if he expected me to say something, and when I didn't, he looked down at his shoes, or the floor, or something. But he persisted. I'm not sure why.

"Hi. I'm Marty," he said, "I'm new."

I was momentarily taken aback, it's very rare that people I don't know actually want to talk to me, thanks to the rumors constantly being spread around about me that until recently I've been unable to prove false, but hanging around actually decent people like Summer had to rub off on me just a bit. As long as it's prompted, I've gotten pretty good at pretending I actually know how to carry a conversation, and am not terrified to.

"Hey. I'm Jack. Jack Will."