Marvel One Shots

letters to natasha; romanogers

WARNING!!: i teared a little while writing this :( the Russos did no justice to romanogers in endgame..

// set before Tony's funeral //

"hey Nat, 

It's over. It really is. We defeated Thanos. Nat, i wish i could see you just one more time. Tell you things that i didn't the past few years. I miss you everyday.

every. damn. day.

Steve sighs, blinking back tears that were threatening to flow out. He had been writing letters to Nat, trying to cope with the grief of loosing her. 

They were never involved romantically, or were they? Nights in Wakanda, they only had each other, comforting with one another with certain jokes to get their mind of battle. Not forgetting the nights where they ran, together, away from Ross. Nights were him, her and Wanda sat and talked over a fireplace before Sam calls them to eat his burnt chicken dinner. Wanda became like their child, protecting her at all costs became their motto. 

"there is always good in every situation," she used to say while they were on their 4th house hunting and Steve was beginning to lose hope. 

He sees it now. Running from Ross with Nat, Wanda, Clint, Bucky, Scott and Sam showed him what family was. Yes, running was hard yet the bond they forged together showed Steve that what she said was true. He not only found his true friends in the midst of hardship, he found family.

Nat became his world, filling up the gap that opened when Peggy died. 

I wish i told you i loved you. Of course, i never really dug deep into that feeling because, love is for children right? Wrong. i love you, Nat. if only i told you earlier. 

You're probably happy now, well, i hope you are. Wherever you are. If you see Tony, do give him a wave for me. 

I might be going back in time to put the stones back. I haven't really told anyone yet but I'm probably going to stay in the past, this future hurts without you. Relive the life you keep telling me to live. 

.."Which you never got to live," Steve sighs, uncontrollably a tear rolls down his cheek, only to land on the paper which he had been writing on for who knows how long.

I also get to meet Peg again, probably. Give her than dance I promised. 

But Nat, I will never forget you. I will never. Ever. Forget you. 

I love you Natalia Romanoff, you hold my heart.

I'm going to go to Tony's funeral now. Probably wearing the black suit you got for me years ago. And this will probably be my last letter I write before putting the stones back.

I promise, Wanda will be taken care of. She misses you to bits as well by the way.

Honestly, I feel silly for writing this, knowing you're never going to see it. 

I miss you, Nat.

Goodbye".

Steve smiles, putting the letter into an envelope while wiping stray tears from his cheeks.

"Steve?"

He turned to find Sam at the door.

"It's time to go".

Steve nods, placing the envelope into a box.

"Let's go".

~~~

Author's note: SOOOOOOOO I'M OBVIOUSLY NOT OVER ENDGAME :( it wrecked me and it wrecked me hardddd. i honestly couldn't believe Nat died, she was one of my favorite characters T.T and romanogers was my favorite ship! besides wandavision and starmora which oh! ship sank too! oop- so glad scott & hope turned out fine though ahhh :") 

I came up with this idea that Steve couldn't cope with the grief of loosing Nat. I mean, through all they've been through together the past few years, it is probably extremely hard for him, loosing her as a best friend, a rock and comforter and even a lover? Must've been hard. I know people who write as a method to cope with depression/ anxiety etc. so this gave me an idea! I mighttt have an idea for part 2 but i'm not sure yet, we'll see how things goes. 

Also, sorry about the late updates, school hasn't been the easiest and exams are coming up 🤦‍♀️.

If you made it to the end, wow ily~ hope you have a great week ahead! 💕