《I can't believe it, Rick! You said you and her were over!》
《Devin, calm down, I can explain...》
《Really? What? You only wanted me to fuck your little ass? Did you even loved me for real?》
《I do love you, more than anybody else》
《Then why is she still your girlfriend? Why? Am I just a sexfriend to you Richard? Huh?》 Shouted Devin.
I woke up to their screams, in the middle of the night. I knew they had something.
《You know what? You really wanna know what? Fuck you, don't count on me to fuck your little ass. Ask your girl, I'm done》
《Devin, babe, please calm down》
《I'm not your babe, apparently I've never been your babe. Consider me as a stranger.》 I heard a door slam.
I went out of my room and saw Devin. He sat on the floor with his back on the wall. I went to him and posed my hand on his arm.
《It would be fine》
《Have you heard it?》He asked with a really sad face.
《Yes, come, we'll go downstairs and I'll make you a cup of tea》
He nodded his head and followed me downstairs. I pulled out two cups and vanilla tea bags.
《Let's go outside, you need air》
We went outside and took the chairs. For the first minutes, Devin stayed there silent in the shadow of that night. His eyes were reflected by the moonlight. His look was empty, lost in darkness. The moonlight reflected his blue iris but they still were full of darkness.
《Ricky and I were a couple...then he cheated on me. We were about to come out to you all guys but he decided to fuck up everything...》
I putted my hand on his arm to calm him down. I've never seen him that sad before.
《I'm gonna leave the band》
《Are you sure about it?》
《Do you really think I want to see him every fucking day? He cheated on me, he doesn't love me, he never did. He only wanted me to fuck his ass》
《In that case, yes...》
《I will miss it..performing and stuff but if it means that I'll see him everyday won't》
《You could be a great makeup artist! The next Jefree Star...Devin Star》
He had a little laugh and took a sip of tea.
《I'll miss having you around》 he said.
I will miss him too...
He has been such a great person to me since day one, he has been the one who gave me style advices and also he would experiment with his makeup on my face. He also was the one always there to support when things went wrong and now it was time to say goodbye.
For the next month, Devin was barely with the band. He never really explained why he was leaving to the band, he blamed it on anxiety and depression. The truth had a different face this time. He left the band house a few days after their album came out, just before touring. This was the last time I've seen him. The guys stopped having any contact with him and acted like nothing happened. For their tour, they've found a bass player but he won't be an official member.
Ghost leaving affected me somehow, which led me to eat nothing at all.
Hair will fell out quickly.
I was paler than a dead corpse.
Nauseous, dizzy, light headed, no energy...
At times I couldn't even walk.
How was I supposed to go on tour with them?
Therapy didn't help at all.
It was useless, I didn't wanted to eat, I refused somehow to live. I still went to the therapist lying just to give the illusion that I was better but I wasn't.
That disorder replaced the person I was, I wasn't Maria anymore, I wasn't me.
I acted distant with everyone but not Vin, well, when we were alone. He would ask me why I was that distant but I kept on lying.
Lie after lie, I felt more and more dead.
He came every night to sleep in my bed with me, to wrap me on his arms.
He acted like he knew that something was going on with me but I bet he had no idea, he didn't had a clue.
We were now two nights before their tour start. Vin came as usual in my room.
《What's going on with you? You aren't you anymore》 he said really worried
《What do you mean, Vin?》
《You are pale, you look dead, you never smile as you did before...is it me?》
I hugged him, how could he think that he would hurt me?
《Maria, I can feel your bones...have you been faking treatment?》
He looked up to me, the light he usually had in eyes was gone, his beautiful green eyes got black. He was holding my face as he usually did but was sad and has no smile.
《Can you please lift up your shirt?》
I did, ashamed because I though I still was too fat to be seen. He looked so shocked and looked down on the ground.
《Is It why you don't let me even touch you?You've promised me...》
《I did, but...I...》
《Your promises were bullshit, Maria. I'm terrified by the simple fact of seeing you dying, you understand that? I fucking love you, how do you think that I'll live with the thought that you've died right in front of me and that I did nothing?》
《I'm sorry Vin...you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved》
《Let me save you. Please, let me try or let the therapist try...I don't wanna loose you》
I kissed him, I could feel his cheeks getting wet. He wrapped me with arms like he was scared I would fell off.
We went to bed and turned off lights.
《I love you, Vin》
《I love you, Maria》
I woke up in the dark night with like an heavy chest pain. It was so hard to breathe. It went on for a few minutes until I've seen someone in my room. The dark silhouette was standing next the door and was coming to me.
I though it was a sleep paralysis but that silhouette turned out to be my mom.
《Maria, stand up and come with me》
She took my arm and lifted me up. Chest pain was gone. I looked to my bed and saw my body next to Vin's one.
YOU ARE READING
Can I Trust You, Dad?
FanfictionLife is eating her. She has been told by her mom that her dad left when she was pregnant. Bullying in school, skipping meals. You can tell her mental health isn't that. After her mom's dead, she had to live with her dad and his band mates. He has s...
