《Do you feel fat?》
《Yes》
《Have you been fasting on purpose to loose weight?》
《I did》
《Have you ever made yourself sick?》
《Yes》
《Well, I think you've got it, you suffer from anorexia and bulimia, mostly anorexia》 said the therapist looking at his notes.
《No, I don't. Now, can leave the hospital? I am fine》
《I'm sorry, miss Cerulli Vezzani, but you need to follow a recovery program,
you're too underweight to go outside. Once you'll gain a few pounds you can be out of here. You'll still need a recovery program, if you don't let us help you, well once out you'll go inpatient in a clinic but if you actually cooperate with us, you will be outpatient》
So if I didn't wanted to go into a clinic I had to behave correctly with nurses, I have to let them feed me. Okay, fine, make me gain but once I'll be out of here I'll loose it.
The therapist went out of the room. After about ten minutes, a nurse came inside room.
《Hello! I'm here to change your nutritional bag. Are you ready?》 She had a beautiful white bright smile, she was so kind...but she was feeding me.
《How many calories?》 I asked terrified
She just smiled and said that doctors told her to not tell to prevent me from panicking even more than what I already am.
Later I heard knocking at my room's door and my family came inside.
They all came at my bed and Devin handed me some flowers.
《Oh wow, thanks Devin》
《So, how are you feeling?》 Asked Vin
《Well, that shit in my nose hurts like hell to be honest》
Vinny took my hand and looked at me in the eyes. I felt kind of weird, his eyes were piercing my soul.
《How was it with the therapist?》 Asked dad
《It was fine. What about your next album?》 I wanted to change subject, I hate when it is about myself.
《It is going well, we've just recorded a new song, you will love it!》 said Ricky.
《Or it would touch your soul, well I hope so》Ryan smiled awkwardly.
The guys told me about their upcoming album and their next year tour. I will travel with them if I get better.
But I didn't wanted to recover.
I didn't wanted to be saved.
Vin holded my hand for most of the time they've spent here, I didn't know why but he was there with sad eyes holding my hand.
In the evening, everyone went back home but Chris and Vin stayed with me.
They made an accord with the doctors because they didn't wanted to leave me alone.
I was glad that they decided to stay, the previous night was just horrible.
We chatted a lot, mostly over their upcoming album.
《And maybe Jonathan Davis will have a part in a song》 said my father.
《The one from Korn?》
《Exactly, insane》 he responded with a huge smile.
《Aren't you tired, Maria? You should sleep》
《No, I'm okay...but Vin must be really tired》
He felt asleep on his chair with crossed arms and his head pulled back.
He looked so innocent like that.
He just looked so cute.
《He hasn't sleep last night》
《I see it...well, now I'll try to too》
《Good night darling》
《Night dad》
That bed was so uncomfortable, it was just so hard to sleep on it.
After a few minutes that our conversation ended I've heard a snoring, something's telling me that Wal-Mart dad felt asleep.
For the whole night I tried to find sleep but it never came. I will try to find a comfortable position to sleep even with that thing in my arm.
《Dio po..》I whispered
(I'm not translating this, too bad, too bad...)
《I've heard you》 said Vinny with a sleepy voice
《How do you know what that means?》
《My parents used to say that when I messed up when I was a kid》
《Wow, you must have been a problematic kid so...》 I said laughing
《Kind of... anyway, how are you feeling?》
《Honestly, I don't know at all》
He just came and took my hand once again.
《Your hand is just so cold》 he said in a sad way.
《Is it bad?》
《Kind of...Are you willing to accept the help they offer you?》
《Yeah》
He took my head and looked at me in the eyes, the lights were turned off but I knew he was. I couldn't see his face properly but I could see the silhouette of his curly hair and felt his warm hand on my jaw.
《Be honest with me please...》
《I...》
《Maria, it will kill you. And I'll be broken, your dad will be in pieces. Consider recovery for real, don't fake it please》
《I will》
《Promise?》
He holded my head with both of his hands, he took me even closer to him, so close that I could hear him breathing.
《I promise you...》
He kissed my forhead and played a bit with my hair in the dark.
He was behaving so weird with me, nobody has never shown me that much concerning or caring other than my mother. Nobody.
And maybe even my mother didn't behave like that.
We stayed silent after that but I could feel that he was crying.
He was the one never showing how sad he was, he always tried to act everything was fine, that life is a joke but tonight he cracked.
Vinny was crying.
I made him cry, I hate myself for that.
I ended up falling asleep because the way he touched my hair was just so soft and comfortable.
YOU ARE READING
Can I Trust You, Dad?
Fiksi PenggemarLife is eating her. She has been told by her mom that her dad left when she was pregnant. Bullying in school, skipping meals. You can tell her mental health isn't that. After her mom's dead, she had to live with her dad and his band mates. He has s...
