His shield

22. Your Fault

   Falco didn't come back for the rest of the night. He was stress walking and that led him to his hut away from camp. Thomas' fathers body was gone because the animals around had probably eaten it. The grave marker was still there as well, seemingly untouched.
    He walks forward, yanking open his hut door, sliding in only to shut it and lock it. He stands silently for a long moment, his eyes moving around the near empty hut since Notaku had helped him clear it out.
    The brunette goes over to sit on the blood stained bed in the corner of the room, staring at the ground only to cover his face to let out soft cries. It had been awhile since Thomas' death but he was so shut off from talking about it. He still felt miserable. He wanted to yell at everyone and cry all the time. It was truly torture.
    Meanwhile Notaku had finished cooking for the two teens, giving them the food. He also ate as well and was now waiting for Falco to come back. He waited by the fire for a bit until it grew darker in the sky, going into his and Falco's tent to lay down for a bit before searching for the man.
    Everyone seemed to have gone to sleep, the night quiet, only the sounds of soft crickets chirping and the creek running. During the middle of the night it's as if Notaku woke himself up. It was just about time to go search for Falco and he had an idea where the white man was.
    He stands, grabbing his knife for safe keepings, getting his horse to hop on it. It wasn't long before arriving at the hut. Falco was still awake, still not being able to sleep alone. He was laying on the bed, blanket over his face, jumping as a soft knock came from the door.
    Notaku stands there with a slight frown, hearing the door unlock and soon open. Falco held open the door, only wearing underwear now. The two men stare at each other for a moment before Falco let the other in. He silently walks back over to the bed, plopping back down onto it, staring up at the ceiling, looking back to Notaku.
    "I feel so empty inside... I'm cold. Every night. I'm cold." Falco whispers in the dark.
    Soft footsteps make their way over before the Native sits on the edge of the bed, looking down at Falco. "Just talk about it Falco." He speaks softly, looking at him with a kind, reassuring expression.
    "I miss holding him." His voice cracks, tears slowly sliding down his cheeks as he sits up and leans his back against the wall. "I left him alone out there. I told him he would always have someone at his side. I wasn't there for him."
    Notaku nods, moving to gently rub the mans shoulder. "You were there though. Thomas knew you'd never leave. It was okay to be scared."
    Falco shakes his head. "No, I wasn't. He thought I left him when I turned around. It wasn't okay to be scared. I had to be there. Why weren't you there?" He looks to Notaku with angry yet sad eyes. "You said you'd stay by my side. Where were you?"
    The Indian tenses slightly at his words. He was right. He was always supposed to protect Falco. A guard dog is what he was. "You went off with Thomas in the middle of everything. I couldn't find you after you rushed off into the trees with him. I tried searching."
    Falco moves towards Notaku, once again smacking him across the face. This smack was different though. It wasn't to get a reaction or a pity smack. This one had Falco's anger slip out. This time, that one actually hurt.
    Notaku's head snaps to the side quickly, moving his hand to hold himself still on the bed so he didn't fall over. He frowns deeply, looking to the American. He honestly felt like he deserved that. His eyes stay down. "I'm sorry, Falco." He mumbles quietly.
     Angry, tear filled eyes stay on the other man. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. You're going to have to speak up."
     Brown eyes look up to Falco, a sad look in his eyes as he speaks up. "I'm sorry I wasn't at your side. I should've been there. I should've found you sooner." You couldn't see it in the dark but where Falco's hand had connected with the mans face was now a dark red mark.
     Falco nods slightly. "He would've been here." He mumbles, eyes staying connected with Notaku's brown ones.
    Notaku looks down a bit and back to yellow eyes. He knew Falco was searching for someone to blame. The man just blamed himself for everything that happened that day. Guilt was eating the American alive is what it looked like.
    Falco moves a bit only to lay down again, yanking the blanket over himself angrily. "I want to sleep." He growls, keeping his back to his friend.
    A soft sigh comes from the younger male. "Would you like me to leave? Where do you want me?" He tried to say his words as comforting as possible.
    He turns a bit, looking up to Notaku. "Just... lay down." He mumbles, scooting closer to the wall, going quiet as he feels Notaku hesitantly and slowly lay beside him, both of them facing away from each other. "I'm sorry for hitting you." A soft whisper comes from the older man.
    Notaku nods before replying softly. "Don't be sorry. It was a deserved hit, this time."
    Falco stays quiet for a long moment. "Goodnight, Notaku. Thank you."
    "Goodnight, Falco." He replies.
     The night slowly grew quiet again, Notaku laying there awake, not wanting to sleep until he knew Falco had gone to sleep. It wasn't long before heavy breaths filled the room. Having Notaku here was a great deal to Falco or else he'd never sleep again. He was always too stressed to rest and always had nightmares that would wake him. For some reason, having someone beside him calmed him dramatically.
     Notaku waited awhile longer only to drift off himself once again. They both needed this rest. Everything was stressful for them both all the time. The night seemed long. A good type of long. Their rests were fulfilling and nice for once. Falco even went without a nightmare.
     The Native American only woke because the sun was beating in onto his face, causing him to grow a bit uncomfortable in the heat.