You're My Home

Chapter four

I had a really good time at lunch today! We should do it again soon Clarke hovers over the send button, wanting to send it so bad yet still a little scared. Just then, Madi slammed open her bedroom door, startling Clarke and causing her to hit the send button. Clarke cringed and then turned her attention to Madi.
"What's crackin destructo? You nearly knocked my door down."
Madi flopped onto the king sized bed and groaned, "I hate math" Clarke smiled and laid down next to her.
"Me too kid. But you gotta do it, it might be helpful later on, who knows." Clarke gently ran her fingers through Madi's thick hair. Madi stayed face down into the mattress, refusing to move.
"How about for every problem you complete, I'll give you some chocolate!" Madi's head pops up at this offer, "Deal!" Then she turns and runs out of the room. Clarke's phone dings and she holds her breath when the name Lexa Woods appears at the top of her screen.
How about tomorrow then? Clarke beams down at her phone and releases her breath.
I'll pick you up at one ;)
~
One entire month of lunch dates later and Clarke is just as happy. Lexa and Clarke have fallen into a routine, Clarke picks up Lexa everyday for lunch and they try a new place each time. Lexa usually can't get off work in time to pick up Aden from school so Clarke just picks him up with Madi and brings them both home to ride. The kids get along great and they are constantly laughing. The conversation between Clarke and Lexa comes easy, and their friendship is perfect. But Clarke can't help but want more.
~
"Lexa?" When Clarke opened her door at 2:00 in the afternoon the last person she expected it to be was Lexa. Standing in the doorway her eyes are puffy and red, her hair was out of the usual tight bun and instead pulled back into a loose ponytail. Wispy flyaways dance near her watery eyes.
"Clarke I'm so sorry, I didn't even call I just didn't know where to go and-" Lexa chokes on her words and crumbles. Clarke quickly steps forward and catches Lexa in her arms. Lexa's body shakes with deep sobs in Clarke's embrace.
"You're okay Lex, you're okay. I got you, I'm here okay, I got you." Clarke rubs Lexa's back,  and whispered into her ear until her body stilled. Lexa slowly raises her head off Clarke's shoulder, wet hair sticking to her face. Clarke brushed her thumb over Lexa's cheek, her eyes clouding with concern. "Come here Lex, come here. I have you." Clarke lead the weak Lexa down the hallway and up the stairs. Clarke's heart throbbed with pain, seeing Lexa this way. Clarke opened the door to her room and slowly helped Lexa down on it. Lexa was still shaking a little, quiet tears rolling from her red eyes.
"I'm so sorry Clarke I'm so sorry."
"Lexa hey," Clarke lifted Lexa's chin so that their eyes met, "It's okay, everything is going to be okay. I'm going to get you some clothes okay?" Lexa was hesitant to let go of Clarke, but she did and Clarke turned to walk into her closet. Clarke's mind was swirling with thoughts and feelings but all she wanted to do was protect this woman that was laying her bed. Clarke pulled grey sweatpants and her NYU t-shirt and walked back to the bed. She knelt down to be eye level with the limp Lexa. "Okay Lex." Lexa began to unbutton her shirt when she saw the clothes but her hands started trembling half-way down and the tears began to flow again. "It's okay I can do it bub" Clarke placed her hands on Lexa's and gently moved them off her shirt. She bit her lip and unbuttoned the rest of her shirt, revealing a calvin klein sports bra and a scar near her bellybutton. Clarke continued to undress Lexa and then pulled the her own clothes onto her. Once the uniform was a pile beside the bed and Clarke's pajamas were on Lexa she pulled the blankets over her body. "I'm going to go get Aden and Madi from school okay? I will be right back."
Lexa grabbed onto Clarke like she was a lifeline, "Promise?"
"Promise." Clarke held her eyes to make sure she knew and then grabbed her keys and locked the front door behind her.
~
Now that Clarke was away from Lexa she let her mind wander to all the dark things that could have happened to cause Lexa to be like this. She picked the kids up, made them both a snack and set them up in the dining room with their homework in a daze. Her mind was only on Lexa. When Clarke walked back into her room Lexa was asleep, holding a tear soaked pillow. Clarke smiled sadly, hating that she was in pain but glad that Lexa was sleeping. Clarke entertained both the kids downstairs while cooking pasta. "Aden, your mom had a rough day at work and she's sleeping upstairs so I think we're gonna have a fun sleepover tonight!" Clarke smiled enthusiastically, praying that Aden wouldn't have a meltdown. She couldn't handle two crying people at once.
"Okay! Can Madi and I watch a movie?" Aden smiled at Clarke, showing one that one of his front teeth was finally starting to grow in.
"Sure sweethearts." Clarke sighed with relief while she turned on the T.V. and placed two bowls of pasta on the counter. "I'm going to be upstairs okay?"
"Yeah" Madi mumbled through a bit of pasta, already distracted by the cartoons.
~
Clarke slowly opened the door to find Lexa still fast asleep in her bed. A single tear rolled down her cheek upon seeing Lexa at peace. She quietly shut the door behind her and tiptoed to her closet. Clarke tugged off her day clothes and slipped into red sweatpants and Raven's worn white stanford shirt that Clarke stole from her. Slowly, Clarke walked back to the bed and picked up a pillow. Lexa stirred at the movement and Clarke winced. Lexa rolled over, her hair a knotted mess over her face. She blinked a few times and then whispered, "Where are you going?" her voice cracked in the middle which caused Clarke's heart to break a little.
"I was trying not to wake you, Aden and Madi are sleeping, I was going to sleep on the couch so you could have some privacy." Clarke's eyes filled with love and no matter how hard she tried to hide it, Lexa saw her ears turn pink.
"Oh god I'm so sorry, Aden and I will leave now, I didn't mean to put all of this on you Clarke, really." Lexa sat up in a rush but Clarke pushed her back down.
"No Lexa I don't want you to be alone tonight. You and Aden are staying here. End of conversation." This time it was Lexa's eyes that filled with feeling, Clarke hoped it was love.
"Then don't leave me here."
"What?" Clarke turned from her position by the door, "What do you mean?"
"You said you didn't want me to be alone, so stay here with me. Please." Clarke hesitated and began to open her mouth but Lexa cut her off, "I need you here." So Clarke turned around and slipped into bed next to her. Lexa let out a contented sigh and shifted closer to Clarke, tucking her head under Clarke's chin and stretching her body against Clarke's. So Clarke held her the way she needed to be held, pulling her closer and snuggling into the body heat until they both drifted into sleep.