The Oracle

Chapter 23: Confessions of the Heart

SORA

After finishing up with training, I decide to check on Merrick after getting a shower. I know he can take care of himself, but I want to see how he's doing before I leave for a few days.

Figuring he's probably still with Reverence in the hospital area, I check there first, a small white towel draped around my neck on my dark grey t-shirt still from my shower.

"Hey, Sora," Evory smiles upon seeing me enter the room and I smile back at her.

"Hello," Darius smiles as well as he sits there on a bed, his shirt discarded as Evory checks his blood pressure.

"Hey, guys," I wave to them.

"If you're looking for Merrick, he left a half hour ago," Evory says. "Reverence is out like a light and we finally convinced Merrick to go get some sleep himself."

"Can't Rev—"

"Noise canceling headphones," Evory cuts me off with a somewhat sheepish smile.

"Ah," I sigh in realization before I scratch the side of my head. "Alright, thanks guys."

"Of course," Evory smiles before I start to head back to Merrick's room.

"If he's asleep, I suppose I shouldn't bother him, but..." I mumble quietly to myself in thought as my feet pad across the floorboards.

Once I reach his room, my hand hovers over his doorknob for a few moments before I finally decide to try to open it only to find that the door is locked for once. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion because Merrick never locks his door and I find myself knocking lightly before I get the chance to think about why.

"Merrick?" I call out, having a bad feeling about this.

A few moments and a cough or two later, the door opens to reveal Merrick in his scarlet red robe with a pair of black sweatpants, his hair sticking up in multiple directions and his room smelling stranger than usual.

"Merrick?" I frown as I examine his appearance and his glassy eyes and far gone expression. "Are you...high? Where the hell did you even find— you know what, nevermind. I don't want to know. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Merrick giggles and grabs my wrist to tug me inside his room.

"Merrick, seriously," I frown as he drags me into the center of his room. "I thought—"

"I was," Merrick says, voice suddenly much more sober. "I was trying. I tried my hardest. But all this shit...it...you know? I didn't want to turn back to drinking, so I just..."

Merrick turns around and my heart aches when I see that he's smiling even though he's visibly crying.

"I guess I failed again, yeah?" Merrick laughs and wipes away his tears with his sleeves.

"You didn't fail," I sigh and Merrick blinks. "You tried. It's not something you can just try to fix once and be done, you know. But you're trying. That's what matters. Are you going to be alright? I mean, everything with Reverence..."

I trail off whenever I notice Merrick's standing a whole lot closer than he was before and he's reaching out a hand to play with my hair, his lips parted slightly.

"Vibrant..." Merrick breathes out.

"Yeah, I guess it..." I trail off whenever I notice Merrick's eyes starting to water and he cries, his hand dropping to clutch at my shirt and his other hand raising to meet its companion.

"You've always been so kind to me..." Merrick chokes out and lowers his head as his hands shake. "Why? I treated you so terribly when we first met. I showed you how horrible I can be, I showed you a glimpse into my darkest parts and yet...you're still so kind. I don't...I don't understand it. How can you be so kind?"

I frown deeply upon hearing Merrick speak so badly about himself and before I know it I find myself lifting his head up and bending down to press my lips to his, his eyes widening and a small gasp escaping him as he stumbles backwards and we fall onto his bed. Whenever I pull away, I find myself staring into his wide brown eyes as I hover over him, his surprise mirroring my own. What...what the hell did I just do? And more importantly, why did I do it?

"Sora?" Merrick breathes out, his eyes still wide and his tears now having stopped, his lips parted in surprise.

"I...sorry," I clear my throat and gently climb off of him before I stand up and run a hand through my hair. "Sorry. I...I should leave you be."

"Sora?" Merrick frowns and sits up as I rush out of his room. "Hey, Sora!"

As I rush out of his room, I nearly run over Kit in the process and she raises her eyebrows in surprise.

"Sora?" Kit frowns. "What's wrong with you?"

"I just kissed Merrick," I breathe out, still in shock, and Kit's eyes widen.

"Are...hang on," Kit searches my expression. "Are you freaking out because it's Merrick or are you freaking out because you just kissed a guy?"

"A little bit of both," I admit and Kit sighs before she grabs ahold of my wrist and drags me off to her room.

"Come on, let's have a chat," she says as she leads me to her room.

Kit's room is more or less everything I expected it to be and yet not at the same time. A blue bed off to the left of the room that rests against a window with blue and white curtains, black pillows, wooden floors, a wooden desk with a laptop and some sketching supplies, some bookshelves, a white door leading to her closet, and a few pictures hung on the walls, along with a black fur rug.

"So...you've never pictured yourself with a guy before?" Kit asks as she leads me over to her bed and the two of us sit down to talk.

"I mean," I rub the back of my neck. "There's nothing wrong with it. I believe everyone should just love who they want to love and be happy, but I just never...I never thought of myself as being anything other than straight, you know? I always liked girls. At least, I thought I only liked girls. It just...took me by surprise."

"So, you definitely like girls, then?" Kit asks.

"Yeah," I nod and blush faintly. "Actually...I kinda thought I was starting to like Akari. She's so breathtaking. But..."

"But you just kissed Merrick," Kit finishes and I nod. "It's okay to have feelings for two people at once, you know. You just have to figure out who you truly want to be with."

"That's the thing. I didn't even know I had feelings for Merrick until that happened," I sigh and run a hand through my hair. "And besides, he has Reverence...oh god...what did I do?"

"Merrick and Reverence aren't together," Kit says and I blink in surprise.

"What?" I ask.

"Merrick and Reverence still love each other, yeah, but they aren't official again yet," Kit says.

"Well...now I feel less guilty than I did, but...I still feel bad. Merrick was upset. I don't want him to think I was taking advantage of him. I just...I wanted to comfort him and that's just automatically what I did for some reason," I say.

"I'm sure Merrick knows you wouldn't do that. I'd say he's probably confused as hell though," Kit muses. "You might want to go explain to him that you're just as confused as he is."

"So, I just barge in there and be like 'oh hey, sorry about earlier and all, I just wanted to let you know I think I'm bisexual and I like you but I also like someone else and I'm really confused but I hope you feel better soon'?" I deadpan.

"Just go fix it, moron," Kit sighs. "And, if you ever want to talk to me about this sort of thing, my door's always open."

"Thanks, Kit," I sigh and stand up. "I should probably go talk to Merrick..."

"You think?" Kit's lips curve into an amused smile. "Goodnight, Sora. I'm sure everything will turn out fine."

"Yeah," I breathe out as I head for the door, Merrick in mind. "I hope so."