I walked up the stairs and into my bedroom, looking for an empty flash drive. I dug through drawers in my desk and my nightstand. "Where the fuck is it?"
I pushed items aside and stopped suddenly. There it was. Not my flash drive, but the picture. The last picture I had of Liza and I.
It's almost been a year since Liza and I broke up. I told myself we would get back together again, that she would find time to date me, that my life would be whole again. I see the comments on Instagram and my channel. I know people know that I haven't been the same without her. In my head, I thought sleeping with a bunch of university girls would fill the void in my heart. I thought hook-ups and flirting sessions and vacations and strippers would clear my head. None of it did. However, I hadn't thought about her in a while. Natalie started to comfort me and distract me from the memories. I thought something would happen between us. I even tried to make a move, but she was smart. She knew I just needed something to make up for the emptiness in me.
Yeah, some people would think, "Come on. It's just a girl. It's not like you were gonna marry her."
When in reality, I thought I was. She was the first real girlfriend I had, the first person that understood me and was like me, someone so sweet and kind that I couldn't keep my mind off of her. It was all a stupid dream in my head. I know I sound emo, but these are the feelings I had.
I picked up the picture and examined it. It was at Coachella. I carried her in my arms as she had her arms wrapped around my neck. We stared at each other, as if we were in love. I loved her.
I shook my head ripped the picture in two, throwing the scraps in the waste bin next to my desk. That was it. That was the last thing I had to remember Liza.
I sighed. Suddenly, I heard voices in the living room. I walked into the hall and stood next to the stairs.
"I feel like that's something you should answer yourself."
I peered over the railing and saw Camila and Jeff staring at each other, lustful and longingly. I raised my eyebrows and listened to their conversation. They were flirting, subtly but hardcore.
"I'm 18 and you're 29. That would be a little risqué." Camila said.
Does she like him? I don't know why I cared, but somehow, I was invested in this relationship. She was right, though. Jeff was 11 years older than her. Why were they flirting?
"It's still fun to tease each other."
I jumped and ran down the stairs, my blood boiling. I grabbed my keys and trudged down the kitchen. "Camila, I'm driving you home."
She stood up and followed me out the door. We stepped into my Tesla. I locked the doors once we were inside. Camila turned to look at me.
"Is something wrong?"
I tilted my head. "What? Nothing wrong."
"You walked out of there pretty fast. I thought you needed to get somewhere."
I cleared my throat. "No, I just wanted to get you home before it got dark."
It was 4:15.
"Oh." She sat back in her seat. I could tell she wanted to ask more questions.
We drove in silence for 20 minutes. She turned on the radio at one point, but even the loud noise couldn't block out the awkwardness in the car. Soon, I pulled in front of her dorms.
"Hey, thanks for coming out. I know I live kind far from here." I said, leaning my arm behind her seat.
"It's no problem. Gives me an excuse to not lay inside all day, worrying about my classes."
She smiled. It was the same smile that drove me crazy a few hours ago. I bit my lip and tried to hide it by turning my head. She sighed and opened her door. "Bye."
I nodded as she walked. In that moment I was pretty sure that would be the last time I'd see her.
I thought wrong.
I posted the vlog with Camila on Tuesday. To me, it was an ordinary bit. Play-fighting, pushes and tugs, laughs and jokes, the usual. But no. To my viewers, it was the greatest thing they've seen in a while. 8 million views in hours. 500k likes. They loved and they were taking it all in. They even invented a ship name for us. Damila. I was confused as to why they loved this content. However, it only meant that I would need to make another video with Camila.
And that I would see her a lot more.
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