Tales of Rick Sanchez (Rick x reader Oneshots)

Isotope 322

(1613 words)
Your POV

Working in the garage I sighed as I realized I was out of a certain rock. A glowing green one to be exact. Grabbing my portal gun I sighed before I went to the version of Earth that had it all over, but only in small particles and flakes. Stepping through I got to the wasteland. I grabbed my portable computer and rose a brow.

"Show me where Isotope 322 is"

Showing up on its small screen it would show small flakes here and there at least 100 meters from each other, maybe more. Moving the screen around for the closest one I stopped when I saw a bigger one on my screen and it was, moving?

Putting the computer away I looked around for what would make the isotope move. Noticing a huge dust cloud I sighed as I was aggravated. "I don't want to deal with this shit" grabbing my laster pistol with a modified scope I got ready to find whatever the hell was making the dust cloud. Watching it race by me there were at least 6 post-apocalyptic vehicles chasing one. I watched as the first one stopped at random before I opened my computer again to notice that there was a flake of the isotope I needed there. 

Raising a brow at who else would want the flake so bad that they would get chased by these guys. Shaking my head and stretching I made my way over to one of the bigger vehicles where I snuck onto it and listened. 

"I am Hemorrhage, you have removed weak blood from us, and made us stronger. We can combine our strength and feast on the weak together." 

I rose a brow as I put in an earpiece that would amplify my hearing so I could listen in a little better. Whatever this was something was up. 

"Wh- what in the hell are you saying?" 

"They don't have to keep trying to kill us if we join them, they're basically pussies." 

"What is your deal lately?" 

"Alright let's get sloppy, whoa whoa- what's uh, what's that little bobble you got back there? Th- that's interesting" 

"That is our glowing rock, we carry it with us for desecration, to remind us there are no gods" 

Pulling out my computer one more time I looked around the map as its lights were flashing like crazy. That glowing rock is a huge chunk of Isotope 322. I wouldn't need to leave for the isotope so often if I had that thing. 

"Kids, weird pitch. Let's have this place be our new life, let's be postapocalyptic scavengers!" 

Who would bring kids here? In this world? Most people would want to protect young minds from things like these so who the hell wouldn't? We started moving again and I used an invisibility cloak I had to hide from people as we made our way back to their little hovel of a village. Looking around  I got off the weird vehicle before I saw the giant rock. I bit my lip as I tried not to dive for it and take it that way. 

A bunch of people were heading over to the Thunderdome so I took it as my opportunity to get the rock and take off. Crawling up to the top I put my hands on it and stopped when I heard a laser pistol charge. 

"I hope you realize that I can see you. You and that mediocre invisibility cloak." 

I turned around to see an older man with a shoulder bag look at me. He glared at me as we sat there. "I found this rock first" 

He chuckled "Wrongo, sweetie. I bet you don't even know what this is, do you? What it can do?" 

Rolling my eyes I looked at him. "It's at least a twenty-pound gathering of Isotope 322. It has the power to make isotope 465 look like isotope 317." Lowering his gun he squinted his eyes at me as he looked at me. There was some cheering from the Thunderdome and he looked over long enough for me to take the rock off it's stand and jump down with it. 

I heard a growl and a couple curse words before he was after me. Holding the rock in my hand I dove into my pocket for my portal gun. Shooting a portal onto the ground I got ready to go through it before I was tackled. He knocked the rock from my hands and looked at me. He dove for it before I jumped on him and we rolled over, the portal leaving. 

Punching a couple of times I landed some hits on his jaw and his lip. He growled before he rolled us over and gritted his teeth as he grabbed my throat. I felt my airway close before I managed to kick him off of me long enough to grab the rock. Only for him to try and grab it from me again. I kicked him in the balls and he growled a little. 

"Fuck off, it's mine" 

"I saw it first, bitch" 

"No you didn't, I got here before I even saw your ass being chased by the savengers" 

He stopped as he looked at me, "I'll make you a deal, we can keep split the rock and get out of here." 

"I'd rather take it to my lab where it will be split evenly." 

He pinched the bridge of his nose before he growled. "Fine, whatever" He threw the satchel at me and I put it in my pocket before he went to get his grandkids. We left through my portal and sighed gently as I looked at the garage. Opening the door the boy in the yellow shirt which i was pretty sure was his grandkid looked over. "You live across the street from us" 

"So you're the asshole that blows shit up in the middle of the night and makes everything go wrong." 

I pointed at the older man and he rolled his eyes. "Rick Sanchez, bitch. These are my grandkids, Morty and Summer" 

The two nodded gently as they waved. "You've caused me to lose my job because I kept oversleeping since I would be woken up by your goddamn experiments. There's been a change of plans, I'm not sharing the isotope with you." 

He rolled his eyes. "Damnit, Morty thanks for opening your mouth about where we lived. Now I have to kill her for the isotope" he said as he pulled the laser pistol again. Leaning on the counter I rose a brow as I looked at him. It didn't take long for a couple of machine guns to come out of the ceiling a counter next to me and a wall and point at him with laser sights. 

"These here have enough bullets to turn you into mincemeat before you can say 'Squanch' so shoot me, by my guest" 

He growled heavily before he put the pistol away and showed the guns his empty hands making them disarm. "I suggest you leave now, Sanchez" 

"How about you two stop measuring your dicks and shut up for three seconds. Both of you are the same, egotistical maniac that happens to be mad scientists. How about you two split the fucking rock or it goes through this portal to the blender dimension." Summer said as she grabbed the portal gun from her grandpa and shot the floor. 

Morty's bigger arm grabbed the rock and held it over the hole. I glared at the older man and he made a V with his fingers and put it over his mouth as he stuck his tongue out. Making a fist I put it on the side of my mouth and used my tongue to push at the inside of my cheek. He growled a little. 

"My arms getting tired" 

I looked over to the two and Summer crossed her arms. Sighing aggravatedly I walked over to Rick and held my hand out before I sighed. "Deal." He shook my hand and Morty put it on the scale that I had pointed at that would split it evenly after it was weighed and sighed gently. I handed the half to Morty and the two walked over across the street, opening the garage and putting it on the counter for Rick. 

I had my back to Rick before I felt hands on my hips. Standing up straight I felt him press his body against me. "You're feisty and don't put up with anyone's shit" he said as he smirked at me and kissed my shoulder a little. I turned around and he pulled me to him as he had me cornered against my counter and a table. Watching him lean down he kissed me as he squeezed my hips. I kissed back slowly before put my hands on his shoulders. This made him pick me up and put me on the counter. He grabbed my leg under my knee and wrapped it around his waist. Reaching over for the clicker I closed the garage door. 

~~ 

I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but once this book hits 50 parts, it will be completed. I do apologize for this but I have so many other books that need my attention as well. If you still can't get Rick and his adventures out of your head I do have an xreader fanfic titled He's Misunderstood! There is only one part for it at the moment but it shouldn't take me long to get it moving again once this one is finished. Thank you for all 27.3K reads!