Tales of Rick Sanchez (Rick x reader Oneshots)

Not a Morning Person

( 1009 words)

Your POV 

Fuck the world. I had been woken up too early once again at the Smith's house. Standing I growled as I walked towards the commotion. Throwing the door open I glared at the older man as he blinked slowly, flask in hand. 

"Morning" 

"Fuck off" 

I slammed the door and went back to the living room as I laid on the couch with the pillow over my head as I tried to block out all sound. Hearing everything as it happened. Stomping at the stairs made me want to scream at someone. 

"Why don't you stay out of my room!" 

"I wasn't in your damn room" 

"You're such a liar." 

I sat up as I glared at the two siblings. "If you two don't shut the hell up I will reach so far up your ass I'll rip your tongues out." 

They stopped in their tracks and blinked a little before they gulped. Rick came out of his garage and walked by the three of us. "Someone's on her period." he mumbled as he walked over to the kitchen. I got off the couch quickly as I followed him. Grabbing his wrist I slammed him into the wall. 

"What was that?" 

"Get off" 

"For a second it sounded like you were talking shit" 

"You'll get the hell off of me if you know what's good for you" 

"Or what Ranger Rick? You gonna shoot me?" 

My hand was pulled from him before he spun me around and held my hips tightly as he breathed down my neck. "I can do that" Pushing me off of him I stumbled a little before I held onto one of the dining chairs. I glared at the older man as he winked at me. I bet he thinks he's really funny. He'll think it's really funny when he wakes up in the morning without any balls. 

Shaking my head I poured my coffee. I need my coffee like Rick needs his flask. Wake me up too early and you'll probably die. Wake me up and there's no coffee, you'll have a painful death. Either way you'll die so don't wake me up. That's something that the Smith family doesn't realize. 

"Beth, I'm sorry!" 

"Shut up Jerry, you knew how much it meant to me" 

"But Beth-" 

"Enough, I don't want to hear you two fight over meaningless shit. Either fix your marriage or get a goddamn divorce." Sipping my coffee I walked by the two as they watched me dumbfounded. I was almost to the living room and sat down before Rick stomped his way over to me and then threw me over his shoulder. I was happy I set my coffee down. Getting into the garage as I tried to get him to put me down, he put me on the counter and handcuffed me to it. 

"If you want to get kinky with me at least take me to dinner first." 

"Shut the hell up" 

"Not gonna happen, sweetheart" 

He turned around with a roll of ducktape as he pulled a strip from it. Sticking it to my face I kicked him, right square in the balls. He stopped as he tried to catch his breath. I glared at him and he glared right back at me. Reaching for the tape I ripped it off and growled a little. Lunging at Rick he backed up quickly as Morty came into the room. 

"What are you doing?" 

"Containing an exorcist" 

"When I get out of this I'll make you bend so far back that you'll be able to see up your own ass" 

I watched as Beth sighed and walked into the room before she unlocked the handcuff holding me to the counter and then walked over to her father, cuffing me to him. "You two are going to stay like this until you get along." 

"What if I gotta take a shit?" 

I elbowed him and he slapped the back of my head. I grabbed his nipple and twisted as he shoved me off. "Bitch" I glared at him as I grabbed his flask and thew it across the room. "You fucking didn't" he looked at me. "Oh I fucking did" 

He tried to go over to his flask to pick it up but I held onto the counter. "You little whore, let go." 

"Nope this is what happens when you wake me up in the morning, then interrupt my coffee time! Now you'll have to go the entire time you're stuck to me without your precious little flask like I have to go without coffee." 

He growled as we sat on the floor of the garage before Beth told us to move to the living room where she could keep an eye on us. We kicked and pinched each other the entire way there. We sat on the couch as far as we could from each other. Glaring and looking everywhere else but each other we stayed there. I'm sure there was a huge hate storm above the two of us. 

Beth's POV 

Walking back into the living room I wondered how long it had been since I cuffed my dad to (y/n). Checking the clock I noticed that it had been about five hours. The house was still standing so that was a good sign. Stopping I noticed that they weren't beating each other and there wasn't a bunch of profanity being shouted so I rose a brow. Making my way around the couch I smiled a little as I tried not to laugh. 

(y/n) was laying down with her legs over his lap as he had his head back and was slouching. Both of them were sleeping. Finding my phone I took a picture before I send it to Summer and Morty. Tying in a caption I made my way to the kitchen so I could start to laugh a little. 

"The two babies finally tired themselves out!" 

~~ 

Looks like we need one of those get along sweaters that siblings wear during the holidays.