chapter fourteen

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Ethan walked into the locker room and wiped his forehead with his shirt and picked up his water bottle.

The only other person in there was Hamilton and Ethan was too worn out to start a fight or anything of the sort. There were plenty of other occasions when he could do that otherwise.

Lucas eyed him up and down and took a step back, then sat down on the bench. "Are you going to attack me?"

It was all to annoy Ethan, of course, because he would never be scared of Ethan otherwise, but it was still sort of funny. Hamilton backing off.

"Don't worry, I have no energy right now. My family has drained me of all energy and Ava can't leave me alone even though it's the only thing I want her to do."

Hamilton shrugged it off and thought about something for a few seconds. "Why did you ever date her in the first place? You guys seem to hate each other now."

"Why was I ever friends with you? We seem to hate each other now." Ethan laughed but there was a grain of salt in his voice. "It's the exact same thing. Sometimes you're close to people who you know are bad for you but you still stay with them, even if you will end up hurting each other later."

"I don't think we were ever that bad for each other, do you? I mean, we did do some shitty things to each other in the end, but I think we were good friends."

Ethan shrugged, then thought about it for a moment and nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right. But at the same time the closer we are, the more likely we are to hurt each other and I don't think either one of us likes getting hurt."

"We did some shitty things to each other but I think it's because we never thought things through. I just wanted to be better than you and you wanted to be better than me."

It was true, but it was strange for him to put it so directly.

Ethan still wanted to be better than Hamilton, especially in football, and he wanted people to like him more, but he knew that wasn't particularly healthy.

It wasn't normal for him to care so much about someone he was friends with once upon a time, but now wasn't even enemies with. They were nothing but rivals on the same team, sharing some classes but not close to being friends again.

And it was stupid for them to continue their rivalry because it didn't make sense. Their life would be easier without it.

But it wasn't about it being easy, it was about the two of them pushing each other toward being better, to improvement. Ethan had practiced for hours on end just because he wanted to be better than Hamilton and that wouldn't have happened without the rivalry.

They constantly made each other better, even if they hurt each other in the process and that was how Ethan's relationship with Lucas had always been different from the relationship he had with Ava.

Ava actively tried to ruin him and didn't push him towards improvement while Hamilton indirectly pressured him to change.

And so they were still sort of good for each other.

Which, in some weird twisted way, was sort of heart-warming.

"Are you going to hate me forever?" asked Lucas and for a second Ethan could almost imagine that he sounded hurt if it weren't for the smile on his face. "I mean, are we going to hate each other forever?"

And that was the moment where he could tell him. "I don't hate you. I just really, really, really dislike you and the shit you did to me in the past."

"Fair enough. I dislike you as well and hate the shit you did to me in the past. And if you do any more shit to me in the future I will continue disliking you but right now I don't really have a reason to dislike you."

"Don't get all soft on me, Hamilton," Ethan smiled and tapped Hamilton's shoulder. "That would be entirely out of character for you."

Lucas shrugged it off and just took a sip from his water bottle. "Maybe it's time I change a little."

"Change is usually good, yeah."

Ethan knew that what he just said was probably true, but he didn't want to change, and certainly not if it meant having to basically be an entirely different person.

He was just starting to like himself for who he was so there was no reason to pressure himself to change. Surely there were other ways of making sure that he kept up healthy relationships with other people.

The two just stared at each other for a few moments, neither of them sure what to say.

It was strange how the silence between them wasn't entirely awkward. They were both thinking about the same things and they didn't need to say them out loud to be aware of what the other one was feeling.

It stuck with them even after they stopped being friends.

That deep understanding of the other and how their brains worked — or refused to work, sometimes — and for some reason, it was refreshing for Ethan to be able to relive that bond with Lucas again.

But at the same time, he shared the same bond with Joshua as well, so it wasn't really anything new.

Hamilton tapped his own thigh nervously for a few seconds before looking Ethan right in the eyes. "You know, sometimes I ask myself why we're not friends anymore. I mean, we could easily be just as close as before."

"We would be incredibly bad for each other. We would constantly compete and try to bring the other one down. It's nicer like this, not friends, not enemies, but still, sort of rivals and still sort of friendly. A nice mix of both."

Lucas started to laugh and Ethan followed not long after.

Then, for a few seconds, it was just the two of them laughing together, unsure where to go next.

Because things had to move between them somehow. They had to keep changing to arrive at some sort of final form where they would settle.

Just weeks before they hated each other guts, or at least believed they did, but now they were in a different place, and maybe in a few weeks or months or maybe years things would be different again.

Maybe they would both be dads and then become friends at their kids' football games.

With how their brains work and the way they were unable to completely stay away from each other, anything was possible, even that.

But Ethan hoped that a proper conclusion would come sometimes sooner because he wasn't sure that he could wait a few decades.

"I like the idea of that," answered Lucas and stood back up. "I mean, knowing us we'll end up fighting each other sooner or later and end up tipping into either the friendship or the enemy zone, but it's nice where we are right now. I don't mind it."

Ethan stood up as well and followed him to the locker door. "I like it as it is now as well." He cleared his throat, then asked, "Do you want to practice football together later?"

"Just the two of us?" asked Hamilton, sounding extremely surprised.

Ethan quickly put up his hands in defense. "I didn't mean it like a date."

"That's not what I was thinking. I was thinking that doing things like that is dangerously likely to push it into the friendship zone."

The whole concept of zones was real, and they kept dancing over them, no matter what. Once in one zone and once in the other, only safe when they were in the dead zone between the two.

It was the best when they weren't friends or enemies but a mix of both.

Rivals or whatever they were.

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Author's Note: So, things move between the two, but tiny tiny steps, guys. They still have a very long way to go before coming to anything concrete and you better be sure that it's gonna be an eventful way there.

I hope you guys liked this chapter and please share your thoughts if you did!! (and don't forget to leave a vote if you haven't yet)

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