rivals in the sheets

chapter thirteen

"Come on, Ethan, come to this party with me. For me."

Joshua sounded so unsure about going to that party alone that Ethan couldn't leave him all by himself.

There were plenty of times that Joshua did things that he didn't want to just because of Ethan, and if the worst thing Ethan would have to do for Joshua would be to go to a party and just act normal for a day, then he could definitely do it.

"Fine, but I want you to know that I won't enjoy it at all."

—————

Ava was there, of course.

She was everywhere and he had no way of avoiding her if he wanted to socialize at all and he didn't want to become a loner all of a sudden.

Ethan walked into a room and then immediately backed out. "Sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"Don't worry about it, I was just here to get some air but if you need to use this room I can leave," smiled Fraser.

Ethan understood that Fraser thought Ethan would go in to fuck someone but that wasn't his plan at all.

He just wanted to get some air as well. "I need a break from all of that as well. I can only handle it for so long."

"Tell me what's on your mind, then. Maybe I can be of some help."

Ethan snorted and rolled his eyes. "You don't want to hear me complain about my life."

Fraser did, however, want to, and so after some convincing, Ethan finally decided to tell him about his life.

Fraser probably wouldn't even remember it in the morning.

"I just wish I could go back where I didn't need to compete with someone constantly to keep my place in this world."

Fraser's eyes opened wide. "You don't have to do all of that. People already love you and the ones that care about you will stay there for you no matter what."

"But what if I'm not good enough for them? What if everyone only likes me because of the good things I can bring to the table and not because of who I really am?"

"You don't show people who you really are, so they can't know who you are, Emmerson."

It was an extreme show of honesty, but Ethan sort of understood that it was true and someone had to tell him that.

He didn't have anyone else in his life who was as honest with him, not in the recent times at least, and Joshua didn't seem to want to tell him that.

"Go on, I'm a little confused."

He wasn't confused but he still wanted to hear more.

"You're gonna have to face the real world at some point," Fraser muttered as he took another sip of his drink. "I mean, we're all gonna have to."

Ethan was shocked at Fraser's sudden interest in philosophy or human relations or whatever he was thinking about. "What do you mean? Why are you getting all deep and emotional on me?"

"I mean, you and I both have friendships that are far from being perfect but at some point, we're gonna have to fix all of that. Right now we're in high school but all this drama and everything else is slowly ruining us, even if it seems fun right now."

Fraser was right.

The drama was sort of destroying them all and there was really no point in engaging with the people that were causing it, but at the same time, it was impossible to escape it.

He could block Ava but he couldn't avoid her in real life. He could ignore Hamilton completely but when it came to being on the field, they would have to interact.

Ethan's entire life was a mess and it was strange to know that other people were starting to notice it as well. Not that it was very hard, of course.

"So what are you suggesting I do?" he asked carefully, unsure whether Fraser should be the person giving him advice.

The boy shrugged and looked down into his cup. "I mean, I had the same problem but Joshua sort of taught me how to be better at taking care of myself. Before, I thought that I needed to be liked by everyone, but now I know that it's only about the people I closely surround myself with."

"That sounds like something Joshua would say, yeah."

Joshua was a master at giving advice to other people, but the problem was that the people around him weren't great at making changes based on the advice that was given to them.

Ethan, for example, asked Joshua what he should do about things on a regular basis but he never even took what Joshua said into account. He just headlessly went ahead and did the first thing that came to mind.

"So do you think I should start cutting people off?" Ethan asked, for the first time genuinely ready to listen to someone else's advice. "Cut Ava off, cut Hamilton off, cut everyone that has ever hurt me off?"

Fraser stood up and took a step closer to Ethan. "Look, Ethan, you know I love you, but these things are up to you. You have to think about the relationships you have with people and decide what you want to do with them. And also, ask yourself what you want to achieve and work towards it."

Ethan knew what he wanted to achieve.

He wanted to be a professional football player and then he wanted to have a proper family and just live a normal life in a normal world.

But he couldn't say all of that to Fraser, not without sounding superficial and that was something he wanted to avoid, at least for a little while.

"On another note, how are you and Joshua going?" he asked.

Fraser raised his eyebrow and chuckled. "He told you, didn't he?"

"Yeah, that he's tutoring you. I've known for a while now and I'm pretty sure a lot of other people know as well." Ethan looked at him with a confused expression in his eyes. "I didn't know you wanted it to stay a secret."

Fraser shook his head and smiled, a little more confidently this time. "Don't worry about it, I just thought of something else, but I don't mind it not staying a secret."

Ethan shrugged. "I wouldn't know why you'd want it to stay a secret anyway. It's just tutoring."

"True."

The conversation was starting to get awkward because they were very obviously thinking about two very different things.

Ethan stood up and tapped Fraser's shoulder in a friendly manner. "I won't bother you any longer, go have fun."

It was an almost condescending thing to do, but he didn't want to talk to Fraser about it any longer as it was already getting a little awkward.

He walked out and saw Joshua sitting on a chair, looking around the room for someone, and unusually, Ethan had a feeling it wasn't him.

Then, Joshua looked in their direction and smiled, and it was all Ethan needed to know.