Uplifting Quotes and Expiriences

Recovering From Betrayal

  This chapter is a little bit personal, so I really hope that you can take my word for it and use this if you need it. I really hope that you won't, but I'm afraid this kind of issue is unavoidable, but often left unspoken and uncared for.

Also, just a little note. This focuses on bf/gf betrayal, however, it also pertains to friends as well. So if you were betrayed by a friend, this can still help.

Recently I had an experience that I never would have seen coming if you'd asked me two weeks before. You see, I have a guy friend that I met five years ago. We've gotten lots of inside jokes, and made lots of great memories together. Recently, we went to a bonfire and he told me that he liked me, and that he has liked me pretty much since we first met. Naturally, I at the time felt the same way. We got closer and closer. I knew about a lot of his issues and struggles he was going through, so he asked me if I could help him change. That made me extremely happy. I knew that if he changed, everyone in my family would accept him as my one day boyfriend, and just that he'd be on a much better, healthier life path. I wanted that for him.

So I started to try and help him, but everyone would tell me, "You can't change someone." (I will focus on this in a future chapter) but I didn't listen.

About a month passed. He was progressing and people noticed that. They were surprised. Then one day, the gates flooded through all at once. I found out that he was lying to me all along, faking everything, and that all he wanted was what most teenage guys want. (Also something I will focus on in a future chapter.) Which he didn't get by the way. Especially after I found out the truth. Let's just say he never wanted to change, he probably never liked me, and he was using me to make his ex-gf jealous (who did get jealous and he left me for her without telling me).

So yeah. I felt pretty down in the dumps since that happened. Not only were my feelings hurt, but so was my happy-go-lucky self. I made mistakes that I tore myself apart over it for weeks. I couldn't believe I let him lower my standards. Especially since I was trying to raise him to mine.

I've ever had good luck with boys being anything more than friends with me. But after this experience. I kind of would rather keep my guy friends as friends. I know that my close friends would never betray me like he did.

Although this experience hurt me and my self esteem badly, I've realized what's important, and now I'm better at seeing what guys really want when they try to get close to me. I hope you all can too. And this goes in vice versa for boys as well.

But now I'll go over the steps I took to recover from this.
1. I looked at how stress free my family and I were without worrying about what would come next.
2. I realized that I could have gotten too attached and harmed myself for what happened when it wasn't my fault.
3. I took a look at what he loves to do. Deceive women. Lots all at once actually. He dated my one of my best friends after he left (and secretly dated his ex) to try and make me jealous. All I did was laugh in his face and warn my friend to get away ASAP.
4. This one is by far the scariest, but most helpful step. I admitted everything to my parents and Priest so I could get help, recover, forgive, and most importantly, repent.    (I may not like what he did, but I don't hate him for it. As I said before, he's had a rough life and has a lot of issues. I forgave him, but that doesn't mean I'll fall for it again.)
5. Now I am happier, and I am focusing on what's important. My religion especially. And things that I can handle and help without risking myself in the process. I'm not at all concerned about dating a guy ASAP. I'll get married to the right man one day. I'll just wait patiently until he shows up.
6. This is second in importance. Show them that they didn't hurt you. Show them that you're better off without them, and that you're living a better life. Because you are. I promise. You won't even have to lie to yourself.

Quotes:
1. "Love comes to those who still hope after disappointment, who still believe after betrayal, and who still love after they've been hurt."
2. "She looked back on her life and realized that everything that happened only made her stronger.
3. "When someone betrays you, it is a reflection of their character, not yours."
4. "It is not the wound that teaches, but the healing."
5. "Fools take a knife and stab people in the back. The wise take a knife and cut the cord, and free themselves from the fools."

You may not know me in person, but I want you to know that you can trust me. Betrayal hurts. I never want anyone to feel it. So if you ever need anyone to talk to, or need some advice, just know that I am here.