All The Little Pieces

The Little Pieces

The curtains closed with a soft whoosh as Elizabeth pulled the cord. She hung up the extra dresses lying on the bed and walked down the steps to her reading area. As always, her anger began to fade somewhat while she worked. She stacked the books on the table, lit a row of candles, and closed the lower curtains as well.

Elizabeth plopped down on the chaise and leaned back, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath to exhale out her remaining anger. Her head sank into the pillow that still lay there from the last few nights. It smelled like Loki. She bit her lip at the memory of his lips and hands on her earlier.

As though her thoughts had summoned him, there was a soft knock at the door. Elizabeth sat up and swung her legs to the floor. "Come in."

Loki opened the door and took a few hesitant steps into the room. He kept his eyes on his feet. "May I talk to you?"

Elizabeth tried to keep her voice neutral. "Yes, of course." How was it possible to want to yell at someone and run into their arms so much at the same time?"

Loki moved slowly to the end of the chaise but remained standing. His fingers plucked nervously at the palm of his other hand. "I, uh, I..."

"So you were the cat?"

He nodded, still staring at the floor.

Elizabeth took a deep breath. "Listen, I don't care if you want to transform into a cat or snake, or anything else. What bothers me is that you sat there as a cat, listening to me talk about you, whisper my secrets, my thoughts, everything. I mean, I've talked to you, I've told you all about me. Why did you do it? You offered to show me the library, then show up as a cat...why? I don't get it. What was your point? You were so kind to me...right after the Bifrost broke, I didn't even know how to react, and you...you...I trusted you."

She realized her voice was rising and stopped for a minute. "You came here to talk to me, so do it."

Loki's eyes never rose. "If you want me to go, I'll go."

Elizabeth stood up angrily. "No, I want you to actually talk to me! Tell me what you were thinking! Don't you dare come here to talk and then just leave!"

"All right...all right." He glanced at her, then away from the anger in her eyes. "I told you I fell from the Bifrost. I was so miserable. I didn't belong anywhere. So, when I saw the bridge break, I felt terribly for you. I didn't want you to experience the same thing. I wasn't trying to listen to your secrets. I wanted to distract you from your pain."

He shook his head. "I never should have transformed into a cat around you. I...I wanted to protect you, and I didn't even know you. I wanted to hold you and comfort you and let you know it would be all right. I don't know why. I don't even like people, especially strangers. It was the only way I could think of to comfort you, and it was a horrible idea."

He continued staring at his feet. "I wanted to be right by you. You recognized me, I could tell when Thor introduced us. You knew what I did on Midgard, and you had every reason to fear me, hate me, even. I thought it was harmless to sit by you in cat form, and then...you read to me, and talked to me, and I..." He trailed off and pressed his lips together for a moment. "You put it best to me one of the times I was in cat form. You said you wanted to hug me so tightly that all the little pieces that are broken will go back together. That's what I wanted to do for you, too."

Elizabeth took a step toward him, the anger leaving her voice. "Why didn't you come talk to me? I mean, we've talked about so many things, why didn't you just tell me?"

Loki glanced away with a grimace and shook his head. "What was I supposed to say? That I've been trapped in places where I don't belong either and it breaks my heart to see you feel the same way? You didn't even know me, why would you have believed me? You would have thought I had some agenda. Remember, I'm the god of mischief and lies." His lips tightened bitterly.

Elizabeth gazed at him steadily. "You do know you're way more to me than just the god of mischief, right? That's not even close to what I see when I look at you."

"Oh?" Loki's eyes flicked up to hers for a moment. A glint of curiosity flashed in them.

"Yes. You...you're..." She trailed off awkwardly.

"I'm what?"

"I'm trying to explain." She took a deep breath and the words came out in a rush. "You're more than my friend, you're really important to me, and I love spending time with you. The best part of my day is when I get to see you." Her face was crimson.

Loki finally raised his eyes and looked her full in the face. She could see hope in them, quickly buried by apprehension. "Still? Even though you know you can't trust me?"

Elizabeth was silent for a long moment. Then she shook her head. "Oddly enough, I still trust you. Here's the thing. It was a really, really bad idea. Stupidly bad. It wasn't honest at all. But I believe you about not trying to trick me. You never took advantage of anything I said." Her cheeks flushed. "I told you...all kinds of things you could have used."

She met his eyes without blinking. "Hell, I told you to come sit in the bathroom while I took a bath. You could have done that, and you never did. You've never played with my mind or used anything I said. You've only ever been concerned about me being all right. I know-"

They both jumped at a sudden, thunderous banging on the door.

"Elizabeth? Elizabeth! It's Thor. I need to speak with you. Can you open your door?"

"A moment." She sighed and stepped past Loki to throw open the door. When she glanced over her shoulder, he had disappeared.