All The Little Pieces

One In Thousands

"Are you angry with me?" Elizabeth broke the heavy silence in the library as she turned a book to check the cover and set it in the stack next to her. "You haven't said anything since we left dinner."

"Not angry, no." Loki did not look up from his stack of volumes. "I wish you had told me you were still in pain. I would have tried to help sooner."

"I didn't want you to worry, and besides-"

"I told you anything you need, anything at all, to let me know and I will take care of it. I know you have no reason to trust me, but I swear I've never lied to you."

She cocked her head in confusion. "You think I don't trust you? Loki, I trust you. Why wouldn't I?"

Loki's head shot up from his books. He narrowed his eyes and spoke slowly, as though her words were incomprehensible. "You-you do? You trust me?"

Elizabeth nodded. "Completely. You've never given me a reason not to."

"But, but..." Loki seemed unable to collect his thoughts. "I'm the god of mischief and lies. My own brother doesn't trust me. No one does. I don't understand..."

"You've never tried to hide who you are." Elizabeth sat back on her heels. "You don't try to justify anything to me you're...yourself. And I, I...well, I kind of like who you are." She dropped her eyes to the book in her hand as her cheeks reddened.

Loki stood suddenly, flipping a book in his hand, his tone brusque. "This may be it. I'll be right back. He turned abruptly and hurried away.

Elizabeth plopped back down to the floor, closed her eyes, and rested her forehead on her knees. After a few minutes, she felt the warm form of the cat rubbing her ankles. She sat up and he leapt into her lap.

"Aw, hey there, gorgeous." Elizabeth stroked the soft ebony fur. "I'm such a disaster. I always manage to say the wrong thing." She heaved a deep sigh. "I didn't mean to make him upset, and he thinks I don't trust him, and I don't know why, and I can't put the right words together to even say thank you, and then I think I've got the right time, and he looks at me or smiles at me, and he's so beautiful, my brain stops working..." She trailed off and rubbed her nose. "See? I babble like this."

Elizabeth pushed a stray hair out of her eyes. "And he's so sad underneath, and I can see it in his eyes. I want to ask him to talk to me and let me help fix everything, but I'll do it wrong, and I want to hug him until all the little pieces that are so broken are fixed - oh, hey there."

The cat sat up and wiggled against her. She wrapped her arms around his warm body and stroked it.

"You're a sweet little guy. You'd make such a good pet. I wish you could tell me why you hide in here." Elizabeth had a sudden thought. "Will you let me take you to my room tonight? I promise I won't try to wash you. You can sit by the tub and catch bubbles while I take a bath, though." She ran her fingers over his velvet ears and down his back. "Or cuddle up against me in bed and maybe I won't be so lonely while I'm going to sleep?"

The cat stared up at her with luminous, unblinking eyes and stretched to lick her cheek. Then he sprang away and bounced lightly back amongst the shelves.

Elizabeth sighed again and turned back to sifting through the piles of books in the dim light. A few minutes later, she heard Loki's soft footsteps behind her.

He dropped lightly to the floor beside her. "It wasn't the right book, but it's late. We can search more tomorrow." He studied her face. "Are you all right? You seem sad."

She nodded. "I'm fine, but I'm really sorry I made you upset. I'm bad at expressing myself, and I don't mean to be."

"No, don't be sorry. You didn't make me upset." He pushed a pile of books out of the way and scooted around so he was sitting directly facing her. He clasped his hands in front of his knees. "You have nothing to be sorry about. My family's forte isn't communication. I'm not very good at it, either. I didn't mean to sound harsh or make you feel badly. I thought you were, I don't know, afraid to tell me. I always assume it's because no one trusts me enough to tell me things, and I shouldn't have. I only wanted to make sure you have enough medicine." He held her eyes with his searchingly. "You really aren't in any discomfort?"

She shook her head. "None at all, I promise. Really, though, don't worry about me. It's not a big deal."

Loki stared at the floor and frowned slightly. "No, I mean, I'm trying..." He ran a hand over his hair in frustration. He looked up at her. "I'm not making sense. I apologize. So Elora thinks you only need to take the medicine for a short time longer?"

"Yes, maybe two weeks at the very most." Elizabeth shot him a small smile. "She told me as long as I manage not to hit my head hard, the medicine should take care of it. I think I'll be okay with that."

Loki chuckled, his good humour restored. "Ehehehehe, I don't know. I've seen you trip over nothing fairly often, just in the short time I've known you. Here." He stood up and offered her a hand up from the floor.

Elizabeth took his hand and scrambled to her feet. She smoothed her skirt and glanced at the window. "I must have lost track of time," she said. "I didn't realize it was late enough for stars to be out yet."

Loki followed her gaze. "It's not that late. The first evening stars are just coming out now." He turned to see Elizabeth watching him. "What are you smiling about?"

"I didn't know you were interested in astronomy until you and Thor were talking at dinner. You seemed so excited at the memory."

Loki inclined his head and smiled back. "We'll start on this book hunt first thing tomorrow morning. Finding one book in thousands will take some time. Come on, let's both go get some rest."