Married with no choice

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"Nessie what is this?" Will asked as he enters my room to see everything packed. He held up the divorce notice I had signed.

"That is a divorce paper and I am getting a divorce from you," I say taking my last bags out of my room.

"Why?" he asked as he holds my hand and I look at him.

"It's because Will, I can't act anymore. I can't fake my love to you. I loved you so much even when you didn't and I was fine with it. But when I found out that you faked my love for me for the sake of the press and broke me, I just can't bear it," I say tears falling off my face and he looked stunned.

"I know that you were with Penelope on the night you missed our date," I say wiping tears off my face and I walk to my car. I had found a new place to live with my money over the past few days.

"Here's your ring," I say giving him the engagement and wedding ring and he holds my hand.

"Let me go Will. You don't have to pretend anymore. Live your life with Penelope without worrying about me. You don't have to be fake anymore," I say freeing my hand from his grip and walked away.

"Just so you know Will, our marriage wasn't out of our choice but I gave it a chance even when I knew that you hooked up with Penelope before and the after the 3 days of our marriage and even after I found out about you and Amanda. I even know that Penelope came to the hospital. I didn't fall in love at the beginning but I eventually did and I thought you did too but I guess I was wrong. I loved you so much that I forgave you even after you cheated on me multiple times but I can't anymore," I say fishing out for a letter I wrote for him.

"Here," I say handing it to him and I drive off. I keep thinking about the letter I wrote for him. I remembered every single piece of it.

"This has been the loneliest and one of the saddest times in my life. I feel like this has been a nightmare and that I should be waking up and things will be back to normal.

I've spent time thinking about our relationship and everything I've dealt with. I just simply cannot wrap my head around why you would ruin the best thing life has given you. I believed in you and tried my hardest to push you into the right direction. I've put blood sweat and tears into you and making this crazy relationship work. And you know what? At the end of the day you really didn't give me what I gave you.

You never once made me feel like you were serious about this relationship. You said what I wanted to hear but actions speak louder than words. You knew how important trust was with me and to just completely pull the little bit you had from under my feet, just makes me sick.

People who are in love don't do this to each other. It's that simple. You don't respect me and my feelings like I respect yours.

I can't change you and I don't want to change you. You are who you are and you'll always be that person. I don't want to have to be your second mother and hold your hand to make the right decision, I need that to come from you and your heart.

I think you have a lot to things to figure out, like your purpose in life, how to be successful and how to be happy and I think we both need time to reflect on ourselves and our feelings. I can't forgive you. This will leave a permanent scar on my heart. I've never felt this pain before. I couldn't blink without crying ever since I found out what you did.

You were and still are my first love and I'll still think about you every day and this relationship will not work if you're not doing the same. You're not ready like how I'm ready. I'm looking for a man to take care of me and you're not there yet. Deal with those demons that are keeping you up at night. That's when you'll feel free and want to make someone the happiest girl in the world.

I want you to promise me you'll work on you. That's all I want. I want you to be happy and I want you to be loyal, respectful, smart and trustworthy because you can be...you just need the motivation to become that man you are destined to be," I repeat it as I reach my new house. It was very dull and I didn't care because it doesn't matter anymore. I fell in love with a man who never fell in love with me.

Eric and Flora called as they learned about it.

"I am really sorry but it is not working out between us. I have been lied to the whole time by him when I was truly in love with him," I say and they accept it.

"Just so you know Vanessa, your clothing line will still be in our company. It is very important that it stays," Eric says even after I argued that I shouldn't be a part of it.

"I would love to but I can't come back. I will do something in my life. Thank you for the opportunity and everything you did for me," I say because going to the office will remind me of him.

My parents were devastated too but accepted the fact that I was getting divorced.

I decided to go on a vacation because I can't deal with losing someone I love. I decided to go to France and I have decided to stay there for ever. My flight was leaving tomorrow afternoon and I was looking forward to getting away from tis place. Because no matter where I go, it reminds me of him.

I can't even think about what is happening to me. Without Will, I mean it has become so hard to imagine life without him. I was very much in love with him and I can never get over him. it is one of the most painful thing in life to miss someone...

Every time you miss someone, there's a silent ache in your heart which is definitely unbearable. And the saddest part of missing comes when you know the person is somewhere on this earth but still you cannot meet him you cannot look into his eyes and explain how badly you want him at that point of time.

What's it feels like (uffff) is not easy to describe in words

Recalling something about the person, you happen to laugh and in no time ,sometimes even as you laugh, you taste your own tears..

The more you want to avoid the thoughts of that person at that time the more thoughts pop up in your mind. Sometimes you want to cry out loud and sometimes you will feel like sitting quiet and just recall those moments when you spend some beautiful moments with him..

Nothing will excite you not even your favourite things. You will search for and consume everything that can erase your thoughts.

And believe me your life will appear worse than anything.

Everything that brought a smile to your face will now torture you. Every little thing will make you scare, insecure. You will do everything to calm your frustration but nothing will help you.

I really miss having him next to me.