Yes, I'm depressed

X

I've lost control and my brain is going haywire.
Thoughts.
Thoughts.
Thoughts.
...
Just more thoughts that continue to chip away the rest of my armour.
...
I feel dizzy.
Nauseous.
Tired.
...
I imagine sitting on the grass with my real friends and boyfriend. However at the bus stop we're infront, I see the girl that I've fallen for, and care for more than anyone in my entire life. Don't get me wrong I love my boyfriend but something about her puts me in a trance and it pains me mentally and physically knowing that she's right there but I can't have her.
...
She's laughing about something with her friends and it's the most beautiful laugh.
...
I hear the voice of my boyfriend and that's all it takes for me to feel alone, knowing that the person I actually want, I can't have. It's selfish, I know.
...
Suddenly a bunch of other thoughts fill my mind; I don't fit in, I'm different, no one understands, I'm broken... and the last one screaming at me like a knife in my stomach being twisted around and having no impact until a few seconds go by;